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Seasons Greetings — Why Now?
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Seasons Greetings

Evergreen

Happy NODWISH Greetings

As a service to my readers I have compiled a list of useful terms for our modern global village.

It is time to wish family and friends: [select one]

Happy NODWISH
Merry Solstice
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa
С Рождеством Христовым
Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Vrolijk Kerstfeest
Nadolig Llawen
Fröhliche Weihnachten
Joyeux Noël
Buon Natale
Feliz Navidad
God Jul
Rauhallista Joulua
Happy Hogwatch
Happy Christmas

and hope they are visited by: [select one]

Дед Мороз
Saint Nicholas
Santa Claus
Kris Kringle
Pere Noël
Babbo Natale
Los Reyes Magos
Tomte
Joulupukki
Hogfather
Father Christmas

who leaves good things in their: [select one]

Stockings
Boots
Shoes
Clogs
Box
Pillow Case
[some people are greedy]

rather than the: [select one]

Lump of Coal
Raw Liver
Bloody Bones
Birch Switch
Sticks

some of them may deserve.

Don’t forget to leave out the: [select one]

Oats
Hay
Grass
Scraps
Turnips

For the: [select one]

Horses
Reindeer
Donkey
Camel
Goat
Boars

And: [select one]

Vodka & perozhki
Milk & Cookies
Wine & bread
Sherry & pork pie

For the driver.

Don’t forget, if you encounter O’Reilly or DonoWho this festive season the proper way of greeting them is “Happy Holidays”. If you say “Merry Christmas”, it would be like urinating on their yule log, putting out their fire.

1 comment

1 Badtux { 12.09.15 at 6:53 pm }

You forgot the Pastafarian holiday that occurs at midwinter’s eve, which is just called “Holiday”. So whenever you hear someone saying “Happy Holiday!” you know he or she is a Pastafarian. :).