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City People Don’t Get It

Charlie Pierce doesn’t understand: The Rand Paul Assault Story Just Keeps Getting Weirder.

Paul said he was mowing his lawn when his neighbor tackled him. Was Paul mulching or was he using the mower to blow leaves onto his neighbor’s lawn? It’s Fall and leaves are definitely falling in Kentucky. Among the “cult of the lawn”, blowing your leaves onto your neighbor’s property is a mortal insult that must be dealt with immediately with maximum force. Paul is lucky his neighbor wasn’t clipping a hedge if he was a ‘leaf exporter’.

You may think I’m kidding, but I have watched the arrests in these situations. The ‘cult of the lawn’ are not to be trifled with…

4 comments

1 Badtux { 11.07.17 at 7:41 pm }

Yes, he was blowing leaves onto his neighbor’s yard. There also was apparently some long-standing issues regarding the landscaping between their properties where Rand Paul had added some things that his neighbor thought was a) ugly, and b) encroaching on the neighbor’s property. Why am I not surprised to find out that Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand) is an asshole just like his namesake Ayn?

2 Bryan { 11.07.17 at 8:11 pm }

It is almost always a long standing aggravation about leaves. Paul was probably planting oaks and magnolias near the property line and the leaves and dead flowers were ending up on his neighbor’s grass.If you are lucky it doesn’t devolve into axes and chainsaws. Neighbor disputes are as dangerous as domestic disputes for LEOs.

The best solution is a thirty-foot-high concrete wall between the properties.

3 Badtux { 11.08.17 at 2:09 am }

And the oaks kill all the grass within their root zone too, which is murder as far as the cult of LawnGuy is concerned.

4 Bryan { 11.08.17 at 9:06 am }

The leaves are acidic and will burn the lawn, as well as blocking the sun. The cult wants a green carpet with defined edges. It’s definitely a form of insanity that should not be challenged by anyone not wearing body armor.

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