Happy Canada Day
La fête du
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Thank you for not yet building a fence along your southern or western border, and for brewing great beer.
On-line Opinion Magazine featuring annoyed rumblings from the leading edge of the Baby Boom firmly tied to a reality-based world.
Established: 21 November 2004
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11 comments
I think the US needs to build a fence on our side of the border to keep them thar “Frost Backs” out of our country. They’re coming down here and buying all our good USA souvenirs that we import from China. I mean, what are the good redneck USA guys gonna buy when they go to the big city if them Frost Backs are getting all the good ones. LOL
The U.S. Marine Corps are about to expropriate Johnson Valley, the world’s finest offroad driving area, so that they can use it to train for mass armor maneuvers. Nevermind that any wars we fight in the next 20 years are going to be against irregulars with AK-47’s, RPG’s, and roadside bombs, because our only potential rivals with serviceable tanks (the EU, Russia, and China) have no interest in getting into a war with us (why should they? We seem to be self-destructing without their help!). Nevermind that the last time the USMC was involved in a tank battle was, err, never (as far as I know no USMC tank has ever fired a round of AP in anger, never, ever, in the history of the USMC, the closest they’ve ever gotten to any armor battle is when they went into Kuwait with the Saudis in 1993 while the U.S. Army’s tanks were destroying Saddam’s armored forces a hundred miles away). They gotta have this, they say, to prepare for *future* wars. At which point, baffled, I ask, against who?
Well. I think Harley130 might actually have the gist of it. We must protect America from the threat of poutine, universal health care, and William Shatner! Yes, we must prepare the U.S. Marine Corps for the inevitable invasion of Canada!
– Badtux the Snarky Penguin
The biggest problem with building a fence is finding the border. The locals sort of, kind of, used to know where is in North Dakota, plus or minus a few miles. With GPS you can cut that down a lot, but it would probably embarrass people to find out they have been farming in the wrong country.
Badtux, the boys in the Pentagon will never give up their ‘toys’.
I think the Marines are looking for a new mission and worried that someone might look at the Canadian Defense Forces and figure out that the separate services don’t actually make a lot of sense financially.
What happened to the Marines’ *OLD* mission, to be an expeditionary force to fight the inevitable “small wars” that the U.S. embarks upon with depressing regularity where we kick over some small country just to prove we can? Remember, making the world safe for United Fruit and Exxon has been the role of the Marines since, well, since the shores of Tripoli, actually…
In none of these “small wars” are we going to see three Marine battalions simultaneously assaulting a fixed position, the supposed reason they need Johnson Valley. Crap, in most of these wars the worst the Marines are gonna be fighting is boredom because half the countries we have half a mind to kick over don’t even *have* tanks, much less serviceable ones. For example, if Hugo Chavez dies and the Marines head into Venezuela to “restore order” (i.e., restore Exxon’s oil leases), I would be extremely surprised if the Venezuelan military fired a shot in anger. You aren’t gonna see three battalions maneuvering in that one. You’ll see companies of soldiers patrolling cities, with tank and artillery support to take out anybody who takes a pot shot at them. Sorta like Iraq, except without insane heavily-armed Arabs everywhere.
– Badtux the Mission Creep Penguin
I wouldn’t suggest taking tanks to Venezuela, they’ll sink. The Marines really will be in their traditional amphibious role thanks to the oil industry, which is the only thing that would need ‘rescuing’. They certainly won’t be useful in the jungle away from the coast, where any semi-intelligent Venezuelan officer would like fighting to take place.
The Marines have been talking about expanding their role forever, and they should just concentrate on what they do well.
*sigh* You all know of course that it has nothing to do with what the USMC actually *want*, it’s all about what the insanely greedy MIC has told them they will bloody well have and STFU about it! Same as for the USAF, and the USN… etc. Has nothing whatever to do with actual *needs*, it’s only to do with money (under the guise of whatever kind of superficial flag-waving ideology is the flavor of the day so the rednecks wont complain about it). USA should get rid of the eagle as the national emblem, and use a pair of crossed 105’s over a $100 bill. That would be more honest and appropriate. 😛 😉
Bryan, Venezuela is only about half jungle and has plenty of upland prairies too, and has plenty of paved roads that would support tanks. It’s not as if they’d send tanks out into the jungle, that’s the sort of terrain where they’d call down air strikes because there’s no risk of collateral damage. The way Marines use tanks is basically for fire support for infantry, the tanks are for cities and towns where they want something a bit more discriminating than a 500 pound bomb.
But still… you wouldn’t be maneuvering three Marine battalions against any target out there. You’d have Marines working in small units to flush out irregulars, much as they do in Iraq and Afghanistan, and for which their current training facilities at 29 Palms are quite adequate. As far as I can tell, the only reason the Commandant of 29 Palms wants Johnson Valley is so that he can prove his is bigger than anybody else’s. His base, that is. What, you thought I was talking about his tiny little penis?!
– Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Great beer? I’m an IPA ophead and casual unsported remarks like that need clarification lest you be mistaken for Faux news.
Name names, sir!
P.S. Happy bday USA, may the next year treat you more kindly than the last.
Well, Shirt, one of my favorite potables, when I was allowed such things, was Molson’s Golden Ale, at the proper temperature, which isn’t near freezing so you can’t taste it. Of course, as Molson’s is now associated with Coor’s, the quality has probably tanked.
The most important thing to a US general is his job after retirement, and he will make decisions that do good things for certain perspective employers. That shouldn’t be legal, but it is. So, Kryten, someone wants to sell more armor to the Marines.
Badtux, Venezuela has some open, flat space, but what they don’t have is officers stupid enough to face the US in that space. It would be urban and/or jungle warfare. Since most of Venezuela’s senior officers trained in the US, they are well aware that big tank battles, even if they had the tanks, would be suicidal.
The reality is that no one want to fight a pitched battle with the US military in the open, because of air supremacy, so practicing for open space warfare is a waste of time and resources.
When I was stationed in Sydney in the 80’s, we discovered a Canadian pub in Kings Cross, run by a Canadian (duh!). I took a couple Canadian’s I’d met there on Canada day, and they served Labatt’s Blue and Busch beers and wonderful pancakes (with the obligatory maple syrup of course!) And I must say, a good time was had by all! 😀 I never knew pancakes could have so much variety… From light and very fluffy, to heavy and quite savory. 🙂 It was a very nice pub too. It had a huge lounge upstairs, with a big open fireplace at each end (and a roaring fire going when we arrived, it was mid winter for us, and cold as ice), a small band stand or entertainers area, and really comfy armchairs and lounges with coffee tables scattered around all over. 🙂
Good times… 🙂
What – no poutine? I don’t know that I would pour maple syrup over them, unless I was really drunk, but it is good bar/pub food.
They should have had maple smoked venison sausage to go with it.
When they get tired of the snow, Canadians tend to go to dry Southern areas. There used to be a motel in Fort Stockton, Texas run by a Canadian couple. It was a bit of shock, after motels operated by Indians [the Eastern type] on Interstate 10. I didn’t stop at a single motel with American staff that whole trip.