Seasons Greetings
Happy NODWISH Greetings
As a service to my readers I have compiled a list of useful terms for our modern global village.
It is time to wish family and friends: [select one]
Happy NODWISH
Merry Solstice
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa
С Рождеством Христовым
Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Vrolijk Kerstfeest
Nadolig Llawen
Fröhliche Weihnachten
Joyeux Noël
Buon Natale
Feliz Navidad
God Jul
Rauhallista Joulua
Happy Hogwatch
Happy Christmas
and hope they are visited by: [select one]
Дед Мороз
Saint Nicholas
Santa Claus
Kris Kringle
Pere Noël
Babbo Natale
Los Reyes Magos
Tomte
Joulupukki
Hogfather
Father Christmas
who leaves good things in their: [select one]
Stockings
Boots
Shoes
Clogs
Box
Pillow Case [some people are greedy]
rather than the: [select one]
Lump of Coal
Raw Liver
Bloody Bones
Birch Switch
Sticks
some of them may deserve.
Don’t forget to leave out the: [select one]
Oats
Hay
Grass
Scraps
Turnips
For the: [select one]
Horses
Reindeer
Donkey
Camel
Goat
Boars
And: [select one]
Vodka & perozhki
Milk & Cookies
Wine & bread
Sherry & pork pie
For the driver.
Don’t forget, if you encounter O’Reilly or DonoWho this festive season the proper way of greeting them is “Happy Holidays”. If you say “Merry Christmas”, it would be like urinating on their yule log, putting out their fire.
6 comments
Don’t forget, if you encounter O’Reilly or DonoWho this festive season the proper way of greeting them is “Happy Holidays”.
Oh, really? Hmmm… And here I’ve been thinking the proper greeting is “Drop dead ya scummy b*st*rd!” Or something similarly appropriate. *shrug* What do I know? 😉 :p 😆
Ahem! You is interrupting my packing posting stuff like this ya know! 😐 (Actually, I’m on my lunch break.) 😉 😀
I’m repacking a box of mugs I acquired during the 80’s & 90’s from several IT companies (many of which no linger exist, such as Island Graphics (very colorful mug, as you’d expect), VisionWare (great company sadly acquired by SCO who totally mismanaged and screwed their excellent products, which is expected of SCO of course!) A couple rare Tektronix, Pyramid, ICL, Acorn and others. 🙂 I’m thinking of getting rid of them. I’m sure there are collectors that would pay a decent price for them.
ANYwayyyy… Happy (seasons greeting of choice) to everyone! (Me, I prefer Hogwatch, not just because I love all things Pratchett, It do think Hogwatch is appropriate these days. 😉
Some people are paid a lot of money just to annoy other people on talk shows, but in the spirit of the Solstice we should reinforce their delusions so they have something to fume about. They need to big checks to pay for their blood pressure meds, seeing that they overreact to just about everything.
Have a Happy Hogwatch, and don’t forget the pork pie and sherry.
Just make sure that the pie isn’t one of C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s if you’re interested in keeping it down with the sherry, otherwise it is likely to get drunk and walk back out :).
– Badtux the Pratchett-lovin’ Penguin
One should always ensure that they are thoroughly inebriated before ingesting anything from a street vendor. The alcohol kills any possible contamination. It’s a well known fact. Of course, it is also a well known fact that most people wouldn’t even consider buying most things from street vendors unless they were totally sloshed.
Somehow, Bryan, I doubt that alcohol would kill one of CMOT Dibbler’s “pork” pies :). Just make it a bit inebriated, mostly.
– Badtux the Easily Amused Penguin
The thing about eating meat pies is that the crust is like shrinkwrap, if you bite through it you can’t return it, not matter how disgusting it is. That is ‘pork’ as in ‘well, there is some meat in there and it could be pork … or not…’ Stray dogs and cats are your friends – see if they will eat it, before you try it. If there are no strays around, I would avoid the street food.