The ‘Net Is Really A Wonderful Thing
Stuck down here in the middle of nowhere, I’ve come to really appreciate the ability of the Internet to solve problems. I can go out and get information on what people are telling me. I can find products that will never appear in any local retailer. I can notify a network of people of the situation with one message. It really is great.
One of the things it provided today was a menu of a regional restaurant chain, so people knew what they could order before a friend picked up dinner. It is a small thing, but it saves time, which a lot of us are running short of, something you figure out about the same time you admit to yourself that you are a ‘senior citizen’ and need to stop denying it.
It is so much more convenient than getting catalogs and making orders over the phone. Most of the things I’ve been buying have never been in the dozens of catalogs that my Mother receives.
9 comments
Bryan,
The net is a wondrous thing indeed! For the last three years of my father’s live, my care giving from some 800 miles away included managing his finances. My brother, in SF, took care of his pensions and investments.
It would have been so much harder before the net.
Good luck with the caregiver role, it sounds like you are taking advantage of all of the assistance available!
Best
Jim
My brothers are in Southern California and upstate New York, so it is a lot easier to give tasks to them via the ‘Net, while I’m dealing with the hands-on stuff locally.
I’m not making the important decisions, I leave them up to the patient. I just implement them. People need to control as much of their lives as is possible, so they don’t feel like they have become an object instead of a human being. Some of the agencies get upset about that, but I’m not the most affected person as a result of decisions.
You are right Bryan, of course. 🙂
When my Mother first went into hospital to start cancer treatment, they treated here like a store dummy. She had been a senior Theater Nurse for more than a decade. She’d seen it all, and she was nobody’s fool. I visited her one day, and she begged me, in tears to get her out of there. So I did. The rest of my *family* called me irresponsible, stupid etc. And I told them that the only ones they cared about, were themselves. I knew they simply didn’t want to have to care for Mom. So I told them all to get lost. Luckily, many of my friends loved my Mom also. She always liked my friends and looked after them in many ways, so they helped. 🙂 So, I leaned the old saying was true: you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. We have a visiting nursing service, called RDNS (Royal District Nursing Service). They are completely self-funded via donations (Gov gives them nothing). The nurses back in the late ’90’s were paid about $4/hr. Two nurses came twice a day to check her and take care of her medical needs. When my Mom passed a year and a half later, the two Nurses asked, tearfully, if they could attend the funeral service. 🙂 My Mom had that affect on people, good people anyway. All my dad wanted to know was… who was gonna pay for it all. I paid for everything. I told everyone not to wast money supporting the florist industry! My Mom hated cut flowers! 🙂 I remember when i was a teen, I bought her a bunch of roses for Mothers day. She looked sad, and I asked her what was wrong. She said that she hated watching them die. And I realised what she meant, I hadn’t thought about that. So, I took them away and gave them to someone else, and bought my Mom an English Rose bush and had it planted outside her bedroom window. I’d never seen her so happy, and I felt 10ft tall! 😀 Anyway, I got donation envelopes from RDNS and asked everyone to donate instead, and told them what they had done for my Mom and so many others, and they got paid nothing. My friends and Mom’s relatives made me so proud. RDNS got a large donation (and I kicked in $10k, and Mom bequeathed her insurance and money to them also, which pissed off dad and my sisters no end! I’m still laughing!) The Director was there and he was in tears when he shook my hand, then hugged me. 🙂 And I felt my Mom smile from beyond. 🙂
Much of that period was spent in the ‘net, researching, organising, communicating with Mom’s relatives in the UK and elsewhere, and so on.
Yes… the ‘net can be a very good thing. But like all things, it is a two-edged sword. It has it’s dark side also. *shrug* 🙂
When things calm down I’m thinking of getting a ‘grow light’ and a box planter for some flowers, petunias, impatiems, etc. – something with bright colors and extended flowering periods. With a timer the lamp can simulate the sun to keep the plants happy. Cut flowers send a mixed message to sick people, especially if they aren’t removed when they start wilting. They are also easy to water, and take care of than those outdoors.
Hospitals and nursing homes have forgotten their real purpose these days to become nothing more than profit centers. In the US the ‘clients’ are insurance companies, not the patients. Patients become products, not people, and get treated like the livestock at factory farms.
Good on ya, m8. When life is short, it is absolutely necessary that it be as pleasant and comfortable as possible. It is always easier when you are surrounded by your own stuff in a familiar setting where you get decide how things will go, and friends can drop by whenever they can find time without feeling they should dress up for the occasion.
I remember a case in New York, a murder during a burglary, where the blunt instrument was a large silver crucifix that was part of the loot. You don’t need a sword to cause trouble, almost anything can be a deadly weapon.
I would be half as pissed off about what the intel agencies were doing, it they were actually taking care of some of the real annoyances on the ‘Net, like spam or DDOS attacks, rather than reading e-mail and collecting ‘selfies’.
That sounds like a good idea. 😀 My lounge room had a large bay window, and Mom like to sit there. I had it converted into an indoor atrium for her, with a small fountain. She loved the relaxing sound of the water and fragrance of the plants. 🙂
“When life is short, it is absolutely necessary that it be as pleasant and comfortable as possible.” That’s very true. Although, the wealthy add the caveat “for us.” *shrug*
As an example, Abbott plans to axe over 9,500 laws and regulations that are in the Australian Citizens best interests. He plans to bypass Parliament to change many acts, such as the financial advice act:
“…remove the catch-all requirement for financial advisors to act in clients’ ‘best interests’.”
and:
To explore the possibility of “… direct charging of all vehicles for road use …”
Of course, it’s in Australia’s best interests, by which he means his wealthy elite friends, since as far as they are concerned, they are the only real Australians, the rest of us are just here to make them wealthy. 🙂
Hmmm… Reminds of somewhere else… can’t quite put my finger on it! Must be the meds… *shrug* 😉
Bryan,
Total agreement that important decisions belong to the patient. Sadly, my father’s dementia reached the point where he would write some 20-30 checks per month to various fringe groups banging the anti-immigration drums. (One group got 5 checks in two months.)
He didn’t need to loose the $500/month!
Big decisions (e.g., Dad deciding to by a sibling a car to replace the junker than blew its engine) were his. I was a filter for the crap.
Best
Jim
I think it is important to connect to other living things, even plants. They should also provide some natural counterpoint to the clinical smells that are beginning to dominate, and will help with the CO2 overage to a miniscule degree. The light itself will certainly help when the days are clouding outside and the house becomes really dark.
You did good, Kryten.
Well, Abbott did bring back Knights and Dames, which apparently no one really cared about, so he really is totally disconnected from the public, which is not good news in the event of an election,
Oh, yes, I remember my Mother and her brother taking over my Grandmother’s checkbook, because she was sending checks to a number of ‘religious’ con artists. They were subsidizing their parents because they were short on money, and didn’t think that was an appropriate use of their funds.
Sounds like you found the ‘golden mean’, Jim. It isn’t always easy to find the line, but you go with what you feel.
Thanks Bryan. I tried to do everything I could. It cost me dearly (and not just financially), but I’d do it again for someone like my Mom. In a curious way, It it hadn’t been for my Mil/Int training and op’s, I am not sure I could have done it, for several reasons. My Mom said something similar during one of our talks, when I related some of what I did. She said that she was afraid that it would change me for the worse, as it does to many. And it did in some ways, made me harder, and far less trusting. But it also strengthened my innate sense of right & wrong, injustice, and honor. She was proud of me, and that was all I cared about. And I swore to myself I’d never allow that to change, because the greatest way to honor someone, isn’t whilst they are alive, that’s easy, but to keep that faith after they are gone, and until our own end.
The greatest gift I could give her, was to let her pass knowing that she had no regrets, and that I was the best I could be, and I would be just fine, and that she had made me what I was, and what I am. And that I would never forget her. To this day, before I go to sleep, I think of her smiling over me, and say Goodnight. And I sleep with a smile. 🙂
I made damned sure my siblings or father got anywhere near Mom’s finances! They would have disappeared faster than ferret down a rabbit hole!
Real immortality is in the memories of the people who knew you, and then the people who know them. You join the pool of family history and are passed along.
Devising a plan of action and implementing it are part of the training and the job of mil/intel people. There is a problem, and you create a solution. You keep at it until a solution is found. That’s a very useful trait no matter what you do in life.
Because you work on the ‘edge’ you have to develop your own code, and you stick to it so you can live with yourself.