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The Legal Stuff Is Really Annoying

The task that has absorbed almost all of my time for the last two months has ended and now I must do battle with various government agencies to finalize the process.

This is trying for everyone involved, as the people you deal with didn’t create the process, but have to comply with it, just as you do. When you enter the offices there is no specialist who has experience and can make it as easy as possible, so you end up talking to people who are falling apart when they find out what they must ask you to do.

Everything is expensive because it is laden with ‘fees’ [in Republican controlled states they are called fees, rather than the taxes they are]. The same people who complain about ‘death taxes’ on large estates, don’t seem to mind charging everyone ‘fees’. This is just going to drag on, and I know it.


1 hipparchia { 05.05.14 at 7:58 pm }

I’m sorry. sending more good thoughts your way.

2 Bryan { 05.05.14 at 9:58 pm }

Thank you, Hipparchia. It wasn’t a shock, as I have been watching it happen, and she was ready, if others weren’t. It is the laws and procedures surrounding the aftermath that are becoming increasingly frustrating.

3 Badtux { 05.05.14 at 11:42 pm }

One of the things about my father passing in a VA hospital was that there were volunteer groups experienced with the aftermath who were there to help.

There are too few people unwilling to suffer fools gladly in this world. We need more of them, not fewer of them :(.

4 Bryan { 05.06.14 at 12:08 am }

They have changed the system in the last six months, Badtux, and added senseless, meaningless additional requirements. The person dealing with Arlington had just done this exact same thing for a friend of mine 9 months ago, which is why I selected her. She is apologetic and obviously frustrated when she calls and informs me that they want more documents, things that are already on file from my Father’s funeral.

They are putting a four month delay in the process, when everything else is ready to proceed. I’m having to explain this to the rest of the family, and people are really getting upset about it because they are looking for closure.

5 Steve Bates { 05.06.14 at 8:19 am }

My condolences, Bryan. And I share your outrage. As if the death of a loved one weren’t bad enough, the goddam gummint has to add to your burdens because… well, as today’s youth would put it, “because Republicans.” Many of us have been through the same deliberate harassment you face now; if you have nothing else, you have our heartfelt sympathy. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.

– Steve

6 Kryten42 { 05.06.14 at 9:27 am }

I am truly sorry you are being forced to deal with so much insanity right now. I truly wish I could do something (and that is not an empty wish. I think you know me well enough!) I am actually feeling pretty angry and frustrated m8. You don’t deserve this crap right now (or ever! And nether do the rest of your family and friends of your Mom).

It wasn’t a surprise for me either when mom finally passed. I was there, holding her hand. I felt a little guilty because I felt relieved. Not that she was gone, not at all! But that she was no longer suffering as I had watched he suffering daily for Months. Nobody who truly Loves someone could bear to see them suffering for long, unless they are selfish heartless bastards (like my dad). *shrug*

I wish you all the best and all the luck there is! Sincere condolences. I know how you feel.

Hey… You know, if there is any such thing as an *afterlife* of some sort… Maybe your Mom will meet my Mom and compare notes on us! Hmmmmm! Not sure that would be a good thing for us! 😉

The thing that helped me cope after was remembering my Mom’s wicked sense of humor! And her wonderful laugh. 🙂 Good memories m8… Hang on to them!! Forget the rest.

If there is anything i can do, you know how to contact me.

Badtux: yeah, they are called INTJ’s (and some INFJ’s)! And they are less than 3% of the population! So good luck with that m8!

7 Bryan { 05.06.14 at 11:09 pm }

My family is expressing its displeasure with the situation and so far four Senators and two Congresscritters have heard about it. I expect at least two more Senators and an additional Congresscritter will get a call tomorrow.

My Mother kept records. I had the original of her insurance policy, as well as the latest version when I dealt with that issue, which stunned the agent. When I talked to the funeral director, I not only had everything she requested, I had the original of the document my Mother received from Arlington concerning my Father’s inurnment [an Arlington term] that has all of the necessary information to locate their records associated with my Mother’s inurnment right.

So, now I am not only having to duplicate all of the records they already have, I have to wait for a new form from Arlington to declare that my Mother hasn’t been convicted of a felony or any sex crimes. That is so insulting. Congress added this requirement, and I know they will blame it on ‘the bureaucrats’.

Steve, Kryten, I thank you for your good wishes. I appreciate them, and they help connect back to the real world where people care about each other.

8 JuanitaM { 05.07.14 at 9:14 am }

Oh, Bryan, I’m truly sorry. Your mother must have been a wonderful person because you turned out so well! And watching someone suffer with an extended illness is an excruciating experience for someone who has the depth to really think and feel.

It’s just not fair that once that battle is over, another begins. The only thing that you should have to be worried about right now is taking care of yourself.

Good luck with it all, and hug a couple of kitties (if they’ll let you, that is).

9 Bryan { 05.07.14 at 8:25 pm }

I thank you for your kind thoughts, Juanita. Mom was ready, and she was in her home, which is where she wanted to be.

No one is ready to go through the mess that is imposed on them by the system, and I can see that things could be a lot worse, based on the experience of friends. My Mother moved years ago to simplify the transition, but they have made it worse in the mean time.

10 Badtux { 05.09.14 at 11:56 pm }

One of the things the Clinton Administration did right was require that every single form — *EVERY* single form — be available as a PDF on the agency’s web site. No more waiting for someone to send you a form. It was right there, and if it wasn’t, it would be when you called them on it or Al Gore would afflict them (heh!). Sadly, all that fell by the wayside during the Shrubbery’s regime, and the Obama regime is all about getting elected, not about governing, so …

Given how much I detested some of the Clintonista’s actions (such as their attempts to insert spy chips into all electronic devices), it’s like looking back at Shangri-la from today’s vantage point. And Clinton wasn’t even that great a President. Just tells you how lousy the current denizen and his predecessor are, that the Clinton administration looks like paradise by comparison :(.

11 ellroon { 05.10.14 at 2:17 am }

Holy crap. I’m sorry you’re having to do unnecessary paperwork on top of dealing with your mother’s passing. What a crock. I’d offer to drive across country to punch some poor bureaucrat in the snoot, but I’d go to jail and it wouldn’t change anything.

So sorry to hear about your mom. You’ve been a loving son and heroic in your coping with events.

12 Bryan { 05.10.14 at 10:03 pm }

You’re right, Badtux, Clinton seems to be the best we can hope for anytime in the near future. Hell, Nixon was to the left of Zero on a lot of issues. When you throw in the total meltdown of the GOP, the future certainly doesn’t look very bright.

It was Congress, Ellroon, that added these forms and cut funding to the people who I’m dealing with. The bureaucrats are simply doing what Congress ordered them to do. Without the staff and the money, the system backs up. I’m thinking about all of the people who are attempting to be interred, and what they are having to do with the remains of their loved ones in this mess. At least my Mother has been cremated, so it isn’t as bad. The biggest problem is giving closure to my brothers, who were caught off guard and couldn’t make it down in time.