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Avast Ye Lubbers — Why Now?
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Avast Ye Lubbers


It’ll be double rations of grog all around in the galley as ye throw the pasta and pesto down your gullet for the final day of Pasta Week, on Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Belay that! ‘T’would be better done by swilling lambrusco directly from the flask!


1 ellroon { 09.19.12 at 10:08 am }

AARRRrrRRRRrrr *cough*

2 Bryan { 09.19.12 at 12:16 pm }

Excise always leaves a slimy hairball on the floor when he does that … 😉

3 Kryten42 { 09.19.12 at 10:04 pm }

… and… yet ANOTHER thing I can’t enjoy!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Yer killin me Bryan m8! Aye! 😛

Bah, humbug! hmmmph.

OT: Actually Bryan, in spite of my therapeutic whinging, I am actually feeling much better. 🙂 I had a bit of an accident about a week before I went into Hospital for surgery and hit the ground hard. Strained a shoulder and I thought I’d bruised and strained my knee, but it’s not getting any better. In fact, my knee now hurts more than the abdomen. I suspect (because I’ve done it before) that I have a green-stick fracture! That’s all I need right now. Having an MRI next week to see.

I was safer in Cambodia with the KR trying to kill me! *sigh*

Ahhhh… them good ol’ days! errr.. Aye matey, Aye! 😉 😈

4 Bryan { 09.19.12 at 11:19 pm }

While it is better than the alternative, getting old really sucks. It takes so much longer to heal, but it is so much easier to break something. Actually, a bone bruise or sprain is usually longer lasting and more painful than a break, from my experience. Of course, once you’ve had a sprain the tendons never shrink back to their original length and the next sprain takes a lot less force.

Keep watching the horizon, because there is an end to this aggravation, and you will be able to return to your normal life.

I know what you mean about life under threat, do I ever. Dealing with bureaucracies often made me prefer flying the low-levels over the jungle with the line chief bitching about the holes in ‘his aircraft’ after we landed. We sat on our flak jackets to avoid embarrassing medal citations. 😉

5 Steve Bates { 09.19.12 at 11:54 pm }

Kryten, three years ago I was confined to a wheelchair for about a year, terrorizing the cats and annoying the bejezus out of Stella. Today I am up on a cane or walker, and can drive a car pretty much anywhere within a couple of miles. Sometimes, as improbable as it may seem to you right now, things really do get better, and a level of personal independence returns. Hang in there, m8!

6 Steve Bates { 09.19.12 at 11:55 pm }

Oh, and I forgot my TLAPD greeting…


7 Kryten42 { 09.20.12 at 7:18 am }

Hi Steve 🙂

Glad to hear you are improving m8! 😀 I have read your posts over the years, and know some of your history. I understand, truly. 🙂 I spent a lot of my life being sick or in pain of one kind or another… In a nutshell, I’ve always had to be tough and fight, ever since the day I was born (I was a ‘blue baby’ and spent the first several weeks in a humidicrib with the Doc’s telling Mom I probably wouldn’t last a day/week/whatever. 🙂 *shrug* I had a good run from about 14 to 29 (apart from being shot and other *occupational hazards*) 😉 Thankfully, the fitness and training I worked hard for during that period has paid off since. Swings and roundabouts, right? 🙂

Thanks for your support and good wishes Steve. 🙂 I truly wish you all the best and more health and strength every day m8. Aye! 😉

Bryan: as someone who has flown (and jumped out of) Herc’s several times, I know all about protecting your fundamental Assets! 😆 After our first flight, we scrounged some old Armour plate from the *scrap yard* on base and put some on the wooden bench and some between the web and the fuselage. Saved a few guy’s butt’s! 😀 Especially since we had to be *ready to jump* at all times whilst in the air. A PITA when a flight can last hours. Oh well… *shrug*

yeah, once you do a tendon or ligament, they never heal right. After dislocating a shoulder and spraining an ankle after a bad jump (they didn’t mention that the drop zone would be covered in debris after a bad flood a couple weeks earlier)! That was the last jump I made, though I could still rappel out of a chopper, carefully! 😉 😀

Rightyho! That’s enough o’ that!

Since it *was* the 10th anniversary of ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ (which BTW is celebrated Globally), I give you the official:

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked ’em, but alas, his show was”dark” the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is…
1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don’t work, as they often won’t):

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Let’s get together and haul some keel.
That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates. By popular demand…

10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin’ pin in yer britches, or are ye… (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, “Cap’n Feathersword?”
6. That’s quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I’ve had a twenty percent decrease in me “lice ratio!”
4. I’ve crushed seventeen men’s skulls between me thighs!
3. C’mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

…and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!

8 Bryan { 09.21.12 at 12:33 am }

After first doing it in at the short aircrew jump school, and sprained my right ankle again during unarmed fighting in the police academy. The sucker still has a tendency to ‘go out’ on me from time to time.

I have a shoulder that was officially diagnosed as ‘not like the other one’ from playing American football for my squadron in Germany at the ‘request’ of my boss. It gives me fits if I move it at one particular angle.

I have avoided repeating the phosphorus burn from a defective flare, and no more rope burns that removed my fingerprints for a while, but there are a lot of one off’s in the mix. Nothing worth reporting, but annoying for a while.

We really abuse our bodies when we are young and regret it when we get older.

We had RC-47s. 130s/Hercs would have been greet because we would have gotten more and better quality stuff at a much safer altitude. You go with what you’ve got. I can’t complain because I did it as a ‘tourist’. temporary duty, when required, and I didn’t usually have to slog through or sleep in the muck unless there was an ‘incident’ with the aircraft.

I don’t see a lot of success in those lines 😉

9 Badtux { 09.22.12 at 11:56 am }

Oh, I dunno, Bryan, I understand that the last line said by female pirates has *amazing* success. Of course, it helps its effectiveness if said female pirate also has a sword pressed to your neck at the exact time she says it, but even so… :).

10 Bryan { 09.22.12 at 7:32 pm }

If the sword had a lower contact point, it would probably be even more effective … 😈

11 Badtux { 09.22.12 at 8:03 pm }

But that would interfere with the removal of the pants :twisted:.

12 Bryan { 09.22.12 at 11:00 pm }

Not unless it was from the rear …

13 Kryten42 { 09.23.12 at 12:11 am }

You guy’s are having a slow day, aren’t you? 🙄


There are a few there I like… Mind you, if the lady Pirate looked anything like some of the cute Nurses I saw, any of the lines would work faster than lightening on me! 😈


14 Bryan { 09.23.12 at 1:27 pm }

The most important information is missing – how close to closing is the bar and how much have you had to drink?