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Primary Election Day — Why Now?
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Primary Election Day

Voting Sticker

It is primary election day in Florida. This is the only election you get in this county, because the winner of the Republican nomination is the winner of the election in one-party South Fundistan.

If you don’t vote, you can’t complain.

The polls are open until 7PM CDT [no matter what they think in the state capital], but the state will start releasing results at 6PM CDT because they can’t remember there are two time zones.

We do use paper ballots because this is a Republican election and they know how easy it is to steal elections if you use anything else.