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Anger Management

I was busy today and my last task was taking the Honda in for an oil change and first year servicing. With just over 2K on it, I’ve washed it a few times and filled it with gas every 6-8 weeks, but no messing around under the hood.

The car has had a mysterious film on it since it was new that makes it look water spotted, even the glass. I asked the service rep what it was and how do you get rid of it. The next thing I knew, there was a service department SWAT team of three managers claiming that they would never have allowed the car to leave the dealership like that, essentially saying I was lying about the situation, and the problem was tree sap or irrigation water. I told them it was kept in a car port, it wasn’t struck by sprinklers, and it had been like that since it was bought.

Given that the vehicle had one of their fake license plates on the front, and their decal on the back, I was more than slightly annoyed when they tried to claim I didn’t buy the car there.

The good news is that I didn’t kill anyone, and I didn’t blow up the building.

I’m getting better about such things.


1 Scorpio { 05.20.08 at 9:01 pm }

I had a car under warranty that started developing little bubble in the paint. Over a month, I made the local dealership repaint that car section by section. It was one of the 1974 or 75 Novas, and those things rusted like mad if the paint bubbles were left alone. Hundreds of people drove around with rust spots nd streaks. The paint jobs around that time were notoriously abominable.

2 hipparchia { 05.20.08 at 9:15 pm }

the bad news is the car still has water spots?

3 Bryan { 05.20.08 at 9:17 pm }

I wasn’t expecting them to do anything other than tell me what it was, and I fully expected to have to buy some “special Honda cleaner” to get it off. Their reaction and full-court press cost them a customer.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the salesperson wasn’t a friend of my Mother’s, and the purchase hadn’t been timed to help her with her quota.

In the 1970s they were removing the lead from all paints, and the primers were terrible. The GM cars were especially bad, although they actually had some great colors. I think that it took a while for people to figure out you had to “bake” the body before applying the paint to get rid of all of the moisture.

4 Bryan { 05.20.08 at 9:18 pm }

Of course, and oily hand-prints on the hood from the oil change.

5 Kryten42 { 05.20.08 at 10:39 pm }

Hmmm. Yep! I know how you feel. I have a friend with a new Kia (almost 9 mths old now) with a 5 year full warranty. After 6mths she was driving in the country with her daughter on a Highway, when she notices a whistling noise that was getting loader. After a bit she felt a cold wind and she noticed something flapping at the edge of the windscreen. Next thing she knew the rubber windscreen seal began coming off. She stopped the car and tried to fix it but only had some electrical tape. It helped for awhile but started coming off. She called the 24/7 road service and they told her she was too far away and had to drive about 12km to the nearest large town where they had a service center. The windscreen almost came out and they did the same thing yours tried. But she’s a tough of Yorkshire daughter of a coal miner! One of the guys (there were 2 there) actually grabbed her arm to stop her yelling at them, and she decked him. She’s mid-50’s BTW. 😉 Her daughter was with her and she started to call the police to say that the guy had tried to assault her mom. As if by magic, they couldn’t do enough for her! Even fixed a few other niggly problems.

They are all con artists and crooks.

You could *borrow* a monster truck and go joy riding through their car yard! LOL

6 Bryan { 05.20.08 at 11:05 pm }

The thing is, I really do have an anger management problem, I wasn’t joking. It takes a lot of energy not to explode in situations like that. I was out marching around the lot for an hour to burn off enough anger to deal with paying the bill for the oil change without punching someone.

This was staged which means they have this happen a lot, so they are definitely off the list of places I can go with confidence.

7 Kryten42 { 05.20.08 at 11:34 pm }

M8, in todays World, I would be surprised if you *didn’t* have anger problems! Any decent human *SHOULD* be angry! I know I am. I’m currently seeing a Psychiatrist to deal with all my issues. *shrug* Currently, she’s trying to convince me to take anti-depressants (not a chance in hell!) or get me to accept that it’s all my father’s fault! *sigh* I’m only going there because it’s part of the Rehab program I’m in to get my disability pension, which is a big bloody joke!

In my opionion, it’s OK to be angry, it’s not OK to take it out on someone who probably doesn’t deserve it. I meditate a lot. It helps, sometimes. We all have problems. Understanding that does help, doing something constructive about it would help more! I’ve had trouble with the *constructive* part. 😉

Good luck m8! Really. And I do understand.


8 Bryan { 05.20.08 at 11:54 pm }

It was the reason I left law enforcement. You can’t walk around wearing a revolver when you have a problem with anger.

Yeah, drugs – “the answer to all of society’s ills, take pills”. And what happens if you forget, or you run out? I know what happens because I have a neighbor on meds and he couldn’t get them after hurricane Ivan. Not a fun situation with all of the chainsaws and axes around.

You control it, or it will control you. It’s a lot of work.

9 Kryten42 { 05.21.08 at 12:02 am }

You control it, or it will control you. It’s a lot of work.

You hit that nail square on m8! Heck… I’ve been pretty pissed ever since Cambodia in the early 80’s! I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve thought would make the World a better place by not existing. *shrug* Now and then, I get a win, by peaceful means. To be honest, I think the major reason I didn’t become a *clock tower shooter* (and I am a trained sniper), were 2 promises I made to two people I loved. One was my Mother the day before she died from Cancer. She said “The World has enough bastards in it. It doesn’t need another one.” And I promised her I wouldn’t be. Of course, some people consider me a bastard today, but that’s because I take a hard stand against bastards and assorted a**holes. 🙂 I learned respect, discipline and honer. And I need all of it to stay sane and calm.

So, I know.

You did the right thing. Temptation is a terrible thing. I haven’t owned a weapon for 20 years, and I won’t. My Grandfather taught me that you should never own a gun unless you intend to use it. He was right. He taught me a lot. 🙂

Cheers m8. Maybe we’ll get to meet one day and have a drink and a laugh! 😉

10 Steve Bates { 05.21.08 at 11:22 am }

Anger is frequently appropriate in this day and age. As long as we don’t get violent about it, venting at the bastards can be healthy for us and arguably for them. I’ve never managed to get to the point of arguing “he needed killin’,” but I’ve certainly justified myself in saying “he needed shoutin’ at.”

I agree one must control one’s own anger in a way that one can manage under even the worst circumstances, but depression is different from anger, and I find the herbal remedy St. John’s Wort to be very effective in controlling depression.

I am not quick to adopt such things, and I did my homework before taking this one. SJW has been around as a remedy for enough centuries that, if it were seriously harmful, we’d know about it (e.g., it does not appear to induce suicide as some of the meds from Big Pharma sometimes do). Its effects are gradual, over weeks, so there’s plenty of time to adjust quantities. And if you run out during the next Hurricane Ivan (Dog forbid!!), the worst that happens is that you gradually get depressed again. (That observation is from my personal experience, though not during a hurricane.) It’s not like alcohol; there’s no instant mood-elevating effect. But after a few weeks of daily use (recent studies suggest 4x300mg/day), I found that my only remaining depression was in response to actual depressing events, not the vague, nameless physiologically induced depression I experienced for decades. Oh, and it’s available over the counter. YMMV, but it works for me.

Please note, though, as I remarked in doggerel some years back, for full effect, you may need to take SJW along with an antidepresident [sic].

11 Kryten42 { 05.21.08 at 11:33 am }

Hey! Thanks for the reminder about SJW Steve! DOH!! And I know about it too! *sigh* I’m tired these days (actually, exhausted is a better description). I have been using other herbs (mostly in herbal teas) which also help. 🙂

Geez… I told LadyMin about it a few years ago! It’s good for menopause too. 😉

I wonder if I can sell my head? As a comedian once quipped… ‘The only thing it’s good for is to hang a hat on!’ LOL

Thanks again. 🙂

12 Kryten42 { 05.21.08 at 11:58 am }

I should mention that I don’t think I am suffering from ‘clinical’ depression. As with most things, it’s very complicated. But basically, I am very tired and frustrated with life, the universe, and everything (to borrow a phrase). 😉 Anyway, things have slowly been going my way for the past few months, but I’ve become too tired to easily make use of opportunities when they present themselves. So, I get frustrated. 🙂 I’ve had one major problem fixed (well, almost fixed), vision. And I discovered I was diabetic and had hypertension (and other stuff) about a year ago, but am dealing with all that, and I seem to be on track there. I suppose my problem has mainly been… I often wonder why I bother these days. A neighbor wanted to fight me (and I mean fisticuffs) a couple weeks ago (because he is a young Armenian fool who was picking on a woman who is almost 60, with his wife and Uncle all yelling at her, and I said that if they didn’t knock it off, I’d call the police and arrest him. I have a valid Security License.) I managed to laugh at him even though what I wanted to do was pound him into the concrete. He wouldn’t have stood a chance. But I walked away. I was pleased later because I maintained control. 🙂 But it was much more difficult than it should have been.

Anyway, thanks again. 🙂

13 LadyMin { 05.21.08 at 12:39 pm }

Geez… I told LadyMin about it a few years ago! It’s good for menopause too. 😉

Well, yes, you did tell me that. Works for the mood swings. Not for hot flashes though. I am determined not to take hormones.

Oh no… now I’ve given away my age. 😐

14 Steve Bates { 05.21.08 at 2:29 pm }

“Oh no… now I’ve given away my age. :|”

LadyMinopause? 😈

I didn’t know about that application of SJW. I’ll tell Stella, but I think she’s past the worst of it by now, and glad of it. She only looks 30; she’s actually almost my age. Everyone assumes I’m cradle-robbing, but I’m not. I’m 59… but unlike Stella, I am part of (as the student demographer is said to have phrased it) “the population broken down by age and sex.” 🙂

15 Bryan { 05.21.08 at 3:26 pm }

LadyMin, you have revealed an age range, not an age, and given the current downward trend in puberty, menopause may soon be a problem for grad students.

While Nature produces a lot of interesting compounds for both good and ill, I have less confidences in chemistry. The incentives in the system are too heavily weighted towards quick to market, rather than extended testing, and too many of the tests and trials are corrupted by money.

I also have an odd body chemistry that interferes with many drugs. Morphine, for example, is totally ineffective. I have received it twice and it produced absolutely nothing – it didn’t reduce the pain, nor produce a high. It might as well have been water. I need 4 to 6 times as much Novocaine as is normal to deaden my mouth enough for dental work, and I can still feel the dentist working, but I can control my reaction.

Aspirin, on the other hand, works wonders, but the bleeding side effect proscribes it in many cases.

Everyone is different and there is no single solution.

16 Kryten42 { 05.21.08 at 7:33 pm }

Hah!! Don’t let LadyMin con you guys! 😀 She looks easily 10 years younger than she is! Other women want to rip her hair out when they find out! :b LOL

Anyway… isn’t the maxim: “Men have ages. Women have Birthdays!” LOL

Oh! That reminds of another I heard (in the USA I think): “A woman is as old as she feels, a man is as old as the woman he’s feeling!” LOL

Hmmm. I must be in a good mood today. 😉 Dunno why! I have to go fight the forces of evil!! I have an appointment with the Gov department designed to make life impossible for al,l Centrelink! Kinda like the US Dep’t of Social Security. I tell you… bureaucrats are the TRUE enemy of man!

Everyone is different and there is no single solution.

Well see now… Why are you not running the USA Bryan? I guess people prefer a fool than a wise man. Maybe so many like Bush because he makes them seem superior in comparison! 😉 😀

Cheers all! I’m off to do battle with the dragons! If you don’t hear from me for, say… 48 hours… I lost! 😉

17 Bryan { 05.21.08 at 9:06 pm }

The local people are called Children and Family Services and I dealt with them for years helping a friend of my Mother’s.

The case worker was quite good, in that she admitted when she couldn’t figure something out. I have spent afternoons as we attempted to decipher a regulation or form to discover what the state wanted. It was during this period that I learned to hate the Florida legislature. I would go in and the case worker would be in tears because the legislature on changed the rules that she had finally mastered, and the new rules didn’t make any sense, and I mean that literally – the rules did not constitute standard English sentences. Things were apparently omitted when the regulations were printed and no one knew what was missing.

I wish you luck in your quest, Sir Kryten, and slay one for me, no matter what PETA says.

18 Steve Bates { 05.21.08 at 10:57 pm }

“… no matter what PETA says.” – Bryan

Who says it’s unethical to slay a dragon? Even saints do that. I’m reminded of a line in a transition from Tom Lehrer’s infamous song “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park”:

But it’s not against any religion…
To want to dispose of… a pigeon…

19 Bryan { 05.21.08 at 11:31 pm }

Well, they, dragons, are probably on the endangered species list with unicorns and such. You can’t get much more endangered than “nonexistent”.