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I’m A Bad Person — Why Now?
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I’m A Bad Person

I really am, I have a terrible attitude.

Mustang Bobby at Bark Bark Woof Woof does a fantastic job in The Prophet from Colorado Springs with this killer final paragraph:

Dr. Dobson and his crew keep predicting the End of Days and the Rapture when all of his like-minded “Christians” get beamed up to heaven, leaving behind all their clothes, worldly possessions, and the rest of us non-believers. As far as I’m concerned, it can’t happen soon enough: all those annoying, constipated, gay-bashing busybodies will be gone, and we can sell all their stuff on E-Bay.

And my mind conjures up one of my favorite of all time lines from any television show: It’s a cookbook!

Now, admit it, that is really an evil mind at work.


1 Karen { 03.30.07 at 9:58 am }

Yep – this would be about as reliable an *exit* strategy as the Millennium suicides (i can’t find a reference to link – I think you recall this one). Wonder how that is working out for those folks! *snark* (IDIOTS and MORONS!)

2 Secret Rapture { 03.30.07 at 10:14 am }

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

3 Bryan { 03.30.07 at 10:38 am }

You may be thinking of those downers on the Rancho Santa Fe real estate market, the Hale-Boppers, as opposed to The Big Bopper.

[Let’s see, an obscure slam about San Diego, an offensive remark about religious belief, and a reference to early Rock and Roll – yep, I’m still a Bad Person.]

4 Karen { 03.30.07 at 12:24 pm }

Yes – but i was actually mixing up those Halley Bopp folks with the Heaven’s Gate folks.

Apparently, Driftglass is one step ahead of me with the weekend *snark* on these folks. (I hadn’t gotten to this gem when i wrote my earlier comment.)

5 Bryan { 03.30.07 at 12:35 pm }

The Hale-Bopp people are Heaven’s Gate. They committed suicide to get a ride on the “vehicle” in the tail of the Hale-Bopp comet. They were some fairly decent coders and making enough money to afford to rent a ranchito [small place, not more than a dozen bedrooms] in Rancho Santa Fe, a rather exclusive area north of San Diego.

6 Steve Bates { 03.30.07 at 1:54 pm }

Way-back-when, I wrote some doggerel about the Hale-Boppies…

          Dead? no, merely Comet-ose

I’ll tell you the tale of the Heavensgate cult,
Apparently also the tale of the comet,
And while your intelligence I’ll not insult,
I’ll leave out details that would lead you to vomit.

While cybertypes mostly just sit back and surf,
The Heavensgate followed no innocent bytehead,
Were held in the thrall of a fellow named Herff…
One apple-white, lily-red, comet-benighted.

Attracted, obsessed with the comet Hale-Bopp,
Convinced there’s a spaceship within its bright wake,
Chagrined they’re unable to get it to stop,
They poisoned their pudding… does that take the cake?

Not having the means of celestial flight,
They gobbled fell drugs to catch up with this foreigner.
Forgive me if I say that’s not very bright…
Their real destination was just ’round the coroner!

– SB the YDD

7 Bryan { 03.30.07 at 7:37 pm }

Tsk, tsk, Steve. Pretty soon people will suspect you’re a bad person too.

8 Karen { 04.01.07 at 1:08 pm }

Well my *memory* ain’t what is used to be (apparently that happens to us OLD Folks *smirk*) – But I thought there was subset of Hale-Bopp folks that simply had all sort of “predictions” based on the comet’s return – but dif from the suicide Heaven’s Gaters. (My Bad!) 😉

9 Anntichrist S. Coulter { 04.01.07 at 1:38 pm }

Would that the followers of Falwell, Dobson, et al, would select their own little rapture home-kit solutions… Jeebus has been fucking around for a couple thousand years, so why don’t they go to HIM??!?!

10 Bryan { 04.01.07 at 2:28 pm }

Karen, there are always people who have very old believes about things that appear in the sky, even though we now know what they mean. The Heaven’s Gate crowd weren’t the only people with Hale-Bopperism, but they were certainly the most extreme.

Annti, I’ve been known to say that it doesn’t make much sense to keep preaching about how everything will be better if you die, and then oppose abortions. They make Christianity sound like a suicide cult.

11 Anntichrist S. Coulter { 04.02.07 at 9:01 pm }

If only it were… Imagine the peace and quiet…

12 Bryan { 04.02.07 at 11:01 pm }

As Booby says, let them get Raptured and leave the rest of us alone.