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It’s A Real Job — Why Now?
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It’s A Real Job

The BBC reports on an actual job opening: The witch job that earns £50,000

A Job Centre is advertising a “witch” vacancy with tourist site Wookey Hole, in Somerset, for £50,000 a year.

The witch, who has to live in the site’s caves, is expected to teach witchcraft and magic.

Wookey Hole staff say the role is straightforward: live in the cave, be a witch and do the things witches do.

The advert for the post, placed in the local press as well as job centres, says applicants must be able to cackle and cannot be allergic to cats.

The job has come up after the previous witch retired from the role.

“We are witchless as the moment so need to get the role filled as soon as possible,” said Daniel Medley from the tourist destination.

The catch is the £50K is the annual salary and you don’t work all year, just the summer and a couple of holidays, so you’re really looking at a little more than a quarter of that as an actual salary. Sounds like a good second job for a teacher.


1 Badtux { 07.08.09 at 12:45 am }

Sayyyy, I hear Sarah Palin is lookin’ for a new gig…

Oh wait. She can’t cackle, she can only wink and say “You betcha!”. Alrighty, then!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin
.-= ´s last blog ..The right to life does not stop at birth =-.

2 Kryten42 { 07.08.09 at 1:11 am }

LOL “You betcha!” Badtux? I thought it was “Come get some!” Hmmm… or was that Duke Nukem? (now THAT was a fun game!) 😉 😆

Sounds like a perfect job for a couple of teachers I had as a child Bryan! Scary! 😐

3 hipparchia { 07.08.09 at 3:15 am }

i have the cats….

4 Badtux { 07.08.09 at 10:16 am }

Oh wait. I retract the Sarah Palin suggestion entirely. I notice now that the job title has a “W” in front of the “I”, not a “B”.

Kryten, I think my 1st or 2nd grade teachers would have been good fits for the job. They were tall, scrawny old ladies who kept us little savages terrorized and had that witch look in spades. Give’em a pointy black hat and a cat, have’m cackle, and we woulda wet our pants big-time. But I was reading by the middle of the 1st grade (this was back in the days when they didn’t teach any reading in preschool here in the USA), so they obviously did something right!

Hipparchia: Yes, you have the cats. But do you have the cackle? And the, for lack of better words, appropriate looks? My understanding is that you’re rather too handsome and, err, wrong-gendered, for this particular job opening. Remember, age and gender discrimination is not illegal in England :).

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

5 jams O\\\'Donnell { 07.08.09 at 1:32 pm }

It’s a wonderful opportunity. I suggested that the not-wife apply. She took umbrage and turned me into a frog!
.-= ´s last blog ..A bit of Boccherini =-.

6 Bryan { 07.08.09 at 5:25 pm }

I was thinking of my 8th grade teacher, Miss James, as she had cats and goats.

Badtux, Hipparchia is a grrl, and Britain has discrimination laws as strict as the US.

Hipparchia, do you think they would like the cave? Would you ever find Chistopher Houdini? You do have the chemistry background for potions though.

Umbrage, Jams? I’ve been trying the wrong things when the cats didn’t eat them, I’ll have to try umbrage. You don’t remember how much she used – sorry, you wouldn’t, frogs tend not to be interested in math.

7 hipparchia { 07.08.09 at 9:43 pm }

badtux: google is your friend. 😈

cackle, can do. appropriate looks, can be bought.

don’t know about christopher houdini, bryan. he might make it to the first patch of groundcover outside the cave and cower there until found. these two would probably move outdoors and become arboreal, but most of the rest of them, if the cave had plenty of hiding places and food were served regularly, would be happy. might have to take the bookshelves with me, though it’s possible all my books of spells would be littering the cave floor.

but potions, yeah baby! that’s the part of the job description i find most attractive. also, the possibility of free health care, though one wonders if maybe witches are expected to be able to provide their own.

8 Kryten42 { 07.08.09 at 10:59 pm }

Just make sure you put ‘alchemy’, not ‘chemistry’ on your resume hipparchia. 😉 😀

As for looks, you can brush up on Diskworld’s witches-in-residence, particularly Nanny Ogg (she’s a witch that knows how to have a good time… so much so, many run in fear from it!) Or, if you find Nanny to be a bit *too* much fun and want a more traditional witch type, then Granny Weatherwax might be more appropriate, though some would say she’s no fun at all! Opinions vary… 😉 Then, there is Magrat Garlick who some would say is a bit of a ‘goody two-shoes’. She’s also a vegetarian and something of a greenie. Also, she doesn’t really look much like a witch, though she did become Queen of Lancre. 😆 😉 Nanny Ogg has the prefect cat for a witch, Greebo whom Nanny refers to as ‘Mr. Puss-puss’, but everyone else calls ‘gerroffyerbugger!!’. 😀 But, what’s in a name, eh?

BTW, Sir Pratchett wrote a book about Real Cat’s called ‘The Unadulterated Cat’.

Have fun! 😀

9 Kryten42 { 07.08.09 at 11:01 pm }
10 Bryan { 07.08.09 at 11:17 pm }

Like most jobs, it’s the hat that counts. If you have the proper hat no one will question your qualifications. Granny Weatherwax is a bit of a minimalist, but Nanny Ogg is a worthy role model.

As for health care, I assumed that witches were supposed to provide the need for health care, but they’ll take the fees for the system out of your pay packet, so you must be able to access it.

There are very strict laws on the importation of animals, and a six month quarantine, so that would be a major problem, but back to the role models, I think Curmudgeon would approve of Greebo.

With Nomex long johns and a personal flotation device, you should be good to go.

11 oldwhitelady { 07.09.09 at 9:27 pm }

Wow! That looks like the perfect job for me, except it’s rather distant. Oh, I guess one needs to be a practicing witch, and know witchcraft and magic, too. . Drat! I guess I won’t send my resume, afterall.
.-= ´s last blog ..Friday Cat Blogging – two grays, a white, and a torti =-.

12 Bryan { 07.09.09 at 9:42 pm }

Well, most of the things we take for granted would have been considered “magic” in the 17th century, and there are probably a few old folks up your way who could give you lessons.

13 In The News — Why Now? { 07.28.09 at 11:37 pm }

[…] noticed this story, Calling all witches: Cave in need of new hag, today, that I reported three weeks ago, and reported it after Caroline Bohanan [BBC video link] had won the job. But they did spell Wookey […]