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Some Good News — Why Now?
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Some Good News

By now everyone should have heard that chocolate is actually good for you, in moderation. Both dark chocolate and milk chocolate have health benefits.

Now we learn that the strawberry daiquiri is a health food. Apparently alcohol increases the natural benefits of berries, but in moderation.


1 Anntichrist S. Coulter { 04.21.07 at 11:35 pm }

I *knew* that there was a reason that I’ve been craving strawberry margaritas! It’s been a secret health-food craving!

Unfortunately, the older that I get, the less booze that I can stomach, so I’ve been reduced to the humiliating, shameful bottom-feeding of those bottled Bartles & Jaymes malt-liquor PRETEND “margaritas.” I wonder if there are any real strawberries involved in those things…

Oh, well, at least I’ve still got Ponchatoula strawberries…

2 Bryan { 04.21.07 at 11:55 pm }

It just needs drinking alcohol, a little splash will do it, and they get better for you.

If you ever made an artificial odor or flavor in a chemistry lab, you would understand why you don’t want to ingest them. There is an intermediate stage that would gag a maggot, before the ester is done.

3 Steve Bates { 04.22.07 at 12:32 am }

The birthday man at the party I attended last night read the same story, and being a man of action, went right out, got ingredients and served strawberry daiquiris at his own birthday party. They were plenty real; even the strawberries were real. I’ve had my health drink for the week. Stella, unfortunately, slept through much of the evening and missed hers.

I do tend to have chocolate every day, a few squares of the darkest I can find. Well, not the 99 percent cocoa, but not far below that. Hey, these days, one needs something to improve one’s attitude!

4 Bryan { 04.22.07 at 3:06 pm }

I’m waiting for them to decide that tobacco is great, it’s the paper and filter that’s the problem.

5 Anntichrist S. Coulter { 04.25.07 at 8:07 pm }

Nah, that won’t exactly fly, considering how many skoal and chaw-dipping guys lose half of their jawbones and most of their lips and cheeks to cancer from gnawing on the shit.

Fuck it, I’ve gone cold-turkey on oxycontin 3 weeks after spine surgery, been on every painkiller but methadone and actual heroin, been 9 years without acid (not even cheap-fucking-BLOTTER!!!), gave up weed when I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis in ’98, ’cause it gave me instant bronchial infections that went straight into pneumonia (not a fan of hospitals, in case you haven’t noticed), and had to give up my 20-year love affair with Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7, and pretty much all hard liquor (at least without it being softened by turning it into GIRLY DRINKS), they will take my cigarettes (which, oddly enough, don’t give me bronchial infections like the NATURAL SHIT, how fucking sick is THAT?!??!?!) when they can pry them from my cold, dead, nicotine-stained fingers.

6 Bryan { 04.25.07 at 8:59 pm }

Actually that’s from an old Woody Allen flick Sleeper, a Rip van Winkle kind of thing, and when they wake him up the first thing they do is give him a cigarette and tell him it’s the best thing in the world for him.