Posts from — March 2007

An Iraqi government spokesperson, Emily Litella, told the media “Never mind” when asked about the reported arrest of Abu Omar al-Baghdadi, leader of the Islamic State of Iraq.

From local media reports: Woman Reports Stolen Cannabis To Police

A middle-aged New Zealand woman rang police to report a theft of cannabis plants she had been growing at her North Island home, local media reported.

[snip]

Senior Sergeant Mal Lochrie told local media Friday that the officer found it hard to stop smiling as the women gave details of the theft over the phone.

A community constable who visited her to take details of the theft had also warned her that her horticultural pursuits could have legal consequences, Lochrie said.

I actually had the desk officer refer a person who was complaining about not receiving real cocaine in a drug deal to my office, which is a “cop joke.” I listened to his complaint and type up a report and informed him that if he signed it, based on his testimony, I would be arresting him for a felony under the wording of the penal law of the state of New York.

What is wrong with people?

With the leaders having already taken their mandatory 8 and 24-hour stops, the dash to the end is on with Martin Buser still in the lead.

The Anchorage Daily News reports: The pain can wait until Nome

Using a wooden handrail to support his battered and probably broken left leg, Iditarod musher Bryan Mills carefully made his way down a flight of stairs to tend to his laundry, then his dogs.

Afterward came time for a home-cooked meal. He ate with pink cheeks wrinkled in pain behind his fuzzy red beard.

“Man, this hurts like hell,” the 42-year-old Wisconsin musher confessed. “My balance is @#$%.”

Miller is currently 40^th in the race. At this point 19 mushers have scratched, with 25 the most for any race.

Today marks Osama bin Laden’s fiftieth birthday and the 2000^th day since the Shrubbery declared he would get Osama “dead or alive.”

Why isn’t Osama in a supermax?

Alleged “D.C. Madam” Pleads Not Guilty and raised the fear factor inside the Beltway:

A former escort service owner who has threatened to sell a list of 15,000 phone numbers from her client list to help her defense pleaded not guilty Friday to racketeering.

Dick Morris has already said he’s on the list, so the names could be interesting, especially to DC area divorce lawyers.

The Anchorage Daily News, with the help from local village school kids posting on their web sites reports that four-time champion Martin Buser was first to the Yukon River.

A lack of snow, single digit day time temperatures, and strong winds are the environmental factors for the rest of the race.

With his Defense Department, Department of Veterans Affair, and Justice Department neck-deep in guano, the Shrubbery has decided to see if he can find his daughter’s cell phone, or annoy everyone living south of the US, or check on the extradition treaties, or something.

He was in Brazil to promote the burning of the Amazon basin so wealthy people can create more sugar cane fields and produce ethanol in a agricultural and commercial process that creates as much green house gas as the petroleum industry. Of course, to work, American corn farmers are going to get screwed, but what does he care.

He told the assembled masses that weren’t recovering from tear gas used in the demonstrations against him that he had doubled aid to South America from $800 million to $1.6 billion during his reign, but he neglected to mention that the $800 million was half of what was allocated before he came into office and slashed it. He assumes that everyone is like his base and the media, who don’t bother to fact check anything.

I hope nothing happens to him – we have invaded more than enough countries.

The Associated Press reports: Cows Slow Rush-Hour Traffic In Miami.

Why are there cows wandering around on I-75 – because if you put domestic live stock on your property it is assessed at the special low agricultural rate, rather than the unimproved land rate. There’s probably a franchised Rent-A-Holstein to provide them with the cattle. They probably receive Federal farm subsidies in addition to the reduced property taxes.

Karen of Peripetia reports on their attempts to develop a an airborne force. I think they should have developed parachutes first.

My host was down for a while late Wednesday because of a kernel panic [blue screen of death, for Windows users, the bomb icon for Macistas]. I lost a post because it was short and I didn’t save it, as I do with longer posts or multiple posts.

Fixing the problem required rebuilding the kernel with an upgraded module, which they scheduled for 11PM [CST] last night.

I knew it and yet there I was writing another post at 11 last night, and I lost it. I really hate it when I do stupid things like that. It’s as bad as opening the toaster oven without putting on an oven mitt – that oven will burn me every time, and I still do it from time to time.

A chemical company has had its application rejected to name a new rat poison after the head of the food and drug administration who resigned when he was charged with corruption. The head of the trademark office felt it was inappropriate because the official hasn’t been convicted of anything…yet.

Oh, this happened in China. Nothing like this could happen in the US – right?

Laptop Cases III

It’s just right.

[Editor: Yeah, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears – well, except its cats, and it has been decades since I’ve had hair, and more decades to the point when it was “golden”. This picture does explain why she was named Dot.]

Friday Ark

The good news for Lance Mackey is that he won $3000 in gold nuggets by being first to halfway point, the old mining town of Iditarod that gives the race its name. The best news was that the missing musher has been found well off the trail, but safe and still moving towards the next checkpoint.

Overall conditions on the trail have taken a heavy toll, with fourteen mushers out due to injuries or broken sleds. Not much snow, bitter cold, and high winds are making the race miserable for humans and dogs.

Let’s see, in addition to losing money in the stock market, Barack Obama received parking tickets while in college, and HE DIDN’T PAY THEM BEFORE HE LEFT TOWN AFTER GRADUATION!!!!

GOOOOOLLEEE!  I have never heard of such a thing, well, except for the huge pile of unpaid tickets that every city or town that with a college in it has.

Do the people who write these stories have any idea how stupid they appear to the rest of the world?