This is the only creature in Washington that knows the proper response to a Shrubbery press conference.
Update: There’s no truth to the rumor that his name is Jack, nor that he is associated with Hollywood. [His people and Michael Moore’s haven’t met – yet.]
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Established: 21 November 2004
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4 comments
Maybe it was sent by the preznit’s Poppy, as a reminder of who is in “deep doodoo.” In any case, it pretty well quashed the descriptions of Bush as “Churchillian”.
Such events are inevitable, and response is everything. Sir Thomas Beecham, confronted with a horse (some say a camel; some say an elephant) pooping onstage during an operatic production (some say “Aida” at Covent Garden… hey, the tale is probably apocryphal; make it anything you like), is purported to have turned to the audience and said, “A distressing spectacle, ladies and gentlemen, but Gad, what a critic!”
Bush, on the other hand, tolerates no critics, human or avian. And for all his immense ego, Beecham, unlike Bush, could actually lead.
How smart do you have to be to know better than to wipe at it with your bare hand? What a maroon!
Any truly cool-headed speaker would simply have ignored it. Drawing attention to it, Bush made a spectacle that could probably have been avoided completely. But even Mother Nature is forbidden to insult the “great” man, and Bush leaves no insult unanswered.
Next presser, can we arrange for a flock of grackles? I can attest from personal experience that they are very, very effective. In my student days, Rice University was infested with them yearly; it was really very sad, because inevitably they suffered some sort of epidemic infection and died in great numbers. But before they did so, they “decorated” a lot of students and faculty… yes, including me, once right on the top of the head. We learned to carry umbrellas, especially near sunset, even on cloudless days.
Grackles have followed the robins to my Mother’s yard and they are “decorating” her car. They are the carpet bombers of guano. A flock of grackles or seagulls would end Rose Garden ceremonies.