Just Trying To Be Helpful (part 2)
Pierre Tristam reports on the important items being dealt with by the Flagler County Board of Education. With all of the pressures that schools are under these days from “No Child Left Behind,” the changes in the tax laws, the inconsistent funding from the state of Florida, the requirements of the Florida Comprehensive Achievement Test, the A-Plus Schools program, and all of the rest, it is nice to see that these people have focused in on the real problem in their school – what students wear.
They have decided that students in Flagler County need to wear uniforms. Now I can understand that, I spent twenty years in uniforms, so I thought I’d help them out. See, the thing about uniforms is that they really need to be uniform – you can’t have uniformity if the girls wear one thing and the boys another.
After due consideration I have two suggestions:
The ultimate in uniforms has to be the black burqa. You can’t get much more uniform than that and you won’t be able to tell almost anything about the students. But there is a problem because the burqa has both a sex and religious connection.
While not quite as uniform as the burqa, I think the real answer is the black robes they wear at Hogwarts. The robes would be popular with a lot of the children, and what adult could pass up working in a bathrobe.
So, there you have it, Flagler County, just specify that everyone at school will wear wizards’ robes and everyone will be uniform. Problem solved.
3 comments
That rapid popping sound you’re hearing in the background is all the fundagelicals’ heads exploding in Flagler County at the very thought of garbing their precious little Knothead in a “wizard’s robe.”
Truth be told, we wear “wizards’ robes” at academic ceremonies. Actually you could probably supply a school with all of yours, if you had bought instead of rented.
Added: Isn’t that what all their preachers wear? 😈
[…] Why Now? – Just Trying To Be Helpful (part 2). […]