Warning: Constant ABSPATH already defined in /home/public/wp-config.php on line 27
I Know The Feeling — Why Now?
On-line Opinion Magazine…OK, it's a blog
Random header image... Refresh for more!

I Know The Feeling

For some reason MSNBC classified this as “Weird News”: Cranky man shoots lawn mower for not starting

MILWAUKEE – A Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn’t start. Keith Walendowski, 56, was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.

According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski said he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn’t start Wednesday morning. He told police quote, “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.”

There is the possibility that Mr. Walendowski imbibed spirits prior to the confrontation with the lawn mower.


1 Michael { 07.25.08 at 8:33 pm }

Anyone care to wager on how long it will take the NRA to put out a press release claiming this is yet another attempt by ‘lib’ruls’ to take away Amercans’ guns?

2 Bryan { 07.25.08 at 8:54 pm }

Well, a shotgun really was too much gun for a lawn mower – lawn tractor, yes, but not a lawn mower.

Personally I would have charged him for disturbing the peace, operation of an unlicensed firing range within the city limits, and, if there was evidence of a spill of gas or oil from the lawn mower, a toxic discharge violation. The weapon would be taken into evidence, and probably lost.

Oddly enough, his conduct would be illegal in Florida. You can shoot people or animals, but not inanimate objects inside the town limits.

3 Steve Bates { 07.25.08 at 9:59 pm }

Legal or illegal in Texas, I do not know. But I do know that no prosecutor would bother bringing such a case here, because no jury would convict the man. Of course, as Michael would surely explain to you at length (as he once did to me), that’s because Texans are criminal to the core of their very being, in ways that residents of other states are not… and worse still, they are very, very annoying people. 😈

4 Jack K., the Grumpy Forester { 07.25.08 at 11:22 pm }

…I suspect his big issue is having used a short-barreled shot gun that he didn’t have legal permission to have in his possession. If he had used a nice name-brand 12-gauge goose gun, he probably would have been OK…

I prefer a sledgehammer myself, but obviously I had better check local ordinances before I go out to mow the lawn next time…

5 Bryan { 07.25.08 at 11:44 pm }

It wouldn’t go anywhere in New York. The only opening would be if he was a convicted felon, then the gun charge would stick, but the arraignment judge would tell the DA to make the case go away. The gun would be confiscated, but the case isn’t worth the money it would take to prosecute.

I’m with you, Jack, it’s too easy to get a ricochet shooting equipment. For real satisfaction you need to return to your roots – rocks and clubs.

6 Badtux { 07.27.08 at 6:32 pm }

This is one reason why electric lawnmowers are so cool. When I had a 4,000 square foot lot where 2,000 square feet of it were under the house or under the driveway, an electric lawnmower always started, always ran, never needed the oil changed, never needed to be gassed up… the only downside was having that friggin’ electric cord behind you.

Of course, if you live on a nine bajillion acre lot an electric lawnmower won’t work for you. On the other hand, if you live on a nine bajillion acre lot, you deserve all the pain that a gas lawn mower’s gonna give ya…

– Badtux the Lawn Penguin

7 Bryan { 07.27.08 at 7:54 pm }

If you can afford the taxes on something like that, you can afford to pay for someone else to do it, and you don’t have to worry about it.

If you need more than an electric mower and 100 feet of cord, it’s too big.

These days you can get a rechargeable with a solar charging station, so you don’t need the cord, and it charges for free [if you forget about the cost of the system].