Part Of The Problem
The Food and Drug Administration doesn’t have enough inspectors to ensure the safety of our food, no doubt because it is part of the Department of Health and Human Services, but the Department of Agriculture has no problem finding the resources to conduct a full-blown investigation of Hemingway’s six-toed cats.
So far the USDA has expended the following resources:
- More than 270 government man hours spent on the case so far.
- The cases involve at least three government lawyers …
- Four inspectors …
- Six veterinarians …
- And at least 14 USDA field trips to sunny Key West.
There are about four dozen of these cats living in and around Hemingway’s house in Key West, so what makes this a cause célèbre for the Department of Agriculture? Someone complained, but who? Possibly a big donor? When is Kenneth Starr going to be called in?
4 comments
starr won’t be called in until it’s discovered that the cats are giving blow jobs to presidents.
Offer him an open-ended investigation at government expense and he’ll follow you anywhere.
ah. my mistake. at the time, i thought the impeach clinton investigation appeared to intensify once the more salacious details started coming out. silly of me to jump to conclusions like that.
either way, i’d really rather not have ken starr follow me anywhere.
People forget the reason it was called Whitewater, because there’s nothing very memorable about getting cheated out of $50K by a friend in a land deal. Kenny went on rooting around until he came up with the “salacious details” provided by a couple of crooked state troopers. [Actual, like fraud convictions in real courts eliminate the need to say “alleged”.]
Clinton was mixed up in a crooked land deal, there was no two ways about it. There’s a technical “cop shop” term for his involvement: “victim”. Such people get their own set of boxes on the crime report.