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Happy NODWISH™ — Why Now?
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Happy NODWISH™

Evergreen Yes, it’s the time of year when the Sun dies and must be re-born through an elaborate ceremony that involves some form or type of sacrifice, such as finding gifts for people you can’t stand and smiling brightly as you receive yet another gift based on an urban legend that you actually like truly stomach-wrenching color combinations.

Of course there was a time when the Solstice sacrifices were more visceral and the evergreen was covered in things that pleased only ravens and such, but we have put all that behind us by opting for the possibility of electrocuting one another and causing chaos on the power grid.

What a brilliant idea: moving a large supply of pre-kindling soaked with highly flammable resins into your house, loading it down with petrochemical-based ornaments, lacing it with heat-producing electrical devices, and surrounding the base with cardboard boxes and tissue paper. You just can’t have a traditional celebration without a proto-bonfire in your living room.

I do think that followers of Mithras might want to curtail their typical birthday service in light of Mad-Cow Disease, but global warming will certainly make the services in the oak wood in traditional druidic robes more comfortable.

When you put up your stocking on the mantel and put out the turnips for Gouger, Rooter, Tusker, and Snouter as well as the pork pie and sherry for the Hogfather, you can rest assured the Sun will come up, because it just slipped around back to return the lager it rented.

Enjoy! You have nothing to fear, except that sniveling little creep with the camera/phone at the office party or the eggnog that was put out rather early causing you to suspect that the bits on top aren’t nutmeg. [The pictures probably won’t appear on the ‘Net and the brandy will surely take care of the salmonella.]

A Calendar of Coming Events

December 6th

Feast of Saint Nicholas

December 13th

Feast of St. Lucia

December 20th

First day of Hanukkah [begins at sundown which is the night of the 25th of Kislev on Jewish calenders]

December 21st

Winter Solstice [11:30PM Central Standard Time]
HogWatch

December 23rd

Festivus

December 25th

Christmas
Birth of Mithras

December 26th

Boxing Day
Feast of Saint Stephan
First day of Kwanzaa

January 6th

Feast of the Epiphany
Día de los Reyes

January 7th

Orthodox Christmas

[When the Julian solar calendar replaced the old lunar calendar the Winter Solstice was December 25th. When Pope Gregory corrected the calendar he only corrected it by 10 days and not the full two weeks it was out of synch with the sun, so the date of the Solstice is now the 21st. Most Orthodox Churches continue to use the Julian calendar which is why their Christmas is on January 7th.]

Oh, this is the explanation of NODWISH coined by Mercury X23

8 comments

1 Kryten42 { 11.29.11 at 11:38 pm }

And Happy Nodwish, Hogswatch, Xmas etc.,etc., to you and all! And my eternal gratitude to Sir Terry Pratchett! 😀

OT: SO… I’m moving into my new place this weekend. Sharing with two sane individuals, and an elderly cat that rules the house (of course!) One is a Nurse (not a good time for Nurses here unfortunately), and the other is a Croatian Mathematician, hoping to find work for his talents here. Should be interesting. 😉

I have to wait for a new phone line to be installed in my room (2-3 weeks they say), then another 2 weeks (maybe) for the internet provisioning. I decided to sign up on an ADSL2/VoIP deal for $55/mth (500GB/mth) with The Smelly Black Dog Company Pty Ltd ’cause I love the name! 😈 😉

According to one of the owners, this is the story of that name:

“What happened was my partner and I where thinking of a company name, and our cocker spaniel (black/tri color) had been for a swim in the local creek and was on the nose. A friend who was here at the time, and she commented – Oh thats one smelly black dog – so we thought – Argh! thats the name we will use.

If you also take the time to check asic – you will see the trading name of the company is IP NETWORKS.

Hope that made you smile

(oh sbd – mate your right she (dog) is banned from the house when she eats the left over asian takeway food)

Sam
The Smelly Black Dog Company!”

The comment abot banning the dog after Asian food is that someone commented that SBD also stands for “Silent But Deadly!” 😆

Well… that and the fact they seem eminently sane, answered all my questions, even the tough ones, easily & quickly, and have *LOCAL* tech support! Whooohoo! That’s worth paying for! Not someone in India trying to do support from a script! (Actually, their initial company name is IP Networks, which is kinda boring!) 😉 Judging by the responses on the Whirlpool/Broadband Choice forum, they are pretty good. Also, they have a pretty decent local (Aussie) VPS hosting service, which I plan to use later next year. I can get a cheaper VPS in the USA or UK, but having a local one is worth the price difference, and the co-locate in the USA & Asia anyway. 🙂 If you are interested in what user’s think of them (and have a bit of a laugh):

Whirlpool: IP Networks/Smelly Black Dog

This is a quote from one of the owners replying on Whirlpool:
“It’s not that I don’t think they have the technical capability or anything like that. I honestly have a hard time understanding the staff in the offshore centers. Couple the accent barrier with the fact they all run off a pre-scripted trouble shooting list, makes it near impossible to explain a complex problem

This is why we will keep our support centres in australia.”

The new house has Solar power & hot water, is 50m from the bus stop, about 300m from the health center that I will need to visit regularly, <100m from a large lake & botanical gardens, where I can finally find some peace and relax, and a 15 min bust trip to where I'll start working (part time) in the new year. Sound good to be true. I can feel that other boot just waiting to drop! 😛 😉

So… I may be online again over the next couple days before I pack up my PC. If not, have a great time, and I hope you find some peace. I'll see you in a month, or so (I guess)! 😉

ttyl! 😀

2 Bryan { 12.01.11 at 12:17 am }

Sounds good to me, Kryten, I wish I could get that level of service for a price that cheap, hell, I would be happy with standard DSL at that price in US dollars.

It sounds like you have located a much better situation, and I’m happy to hear it. I would love to be able to give up the expense of a car, but the US won’t accommodate pedestrians, cyclists, or public transport.

Have a happy holiday season, and don’t get sunburned.

3 Kryten42 { 12.01.11 at 7:02 pm }

Thanks Bryan. 🙂

As I said a little while ago, the big problem where I now am is that we can only use Telstra, and they know they don’t have to compete with anyone so charge like drug dealers! he place I’m moving too in a couple days is off a main exchange supplied by all the wholesalers, so I have choice and lot’s of competition. Amazing, isn’t it? 😉 😆

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been sunburned! I’m half Mediterranean, and it seems as far as my skin is concerned, it got all the Med genes, and almost none of the English *white fella* genes! 😉 😆 I tan fairly dark pretty fast (a fact that annoyed Lady Min when she visited one summer in ’06. I remember she didn’t quite believe me about how bad the UV index was here, and happened to have a UV test strip in her bag, so she pulled it out, and the indicator zoomed right up to max! And that was morning and partly overcast!) 😆 Lucky me, ehh? However, I’m not crazy, and if I know I’ll be out in the sun for a good length of time, I will Slip! Slop! Slap! (YouTube video). 😉

OK. Well… back to finish packing. One day to go! 😀

Have a great Christmas, and cheers! 😀

4 Bryan { 12.01.11 at 10:58 pm }

I’m one of those pasty Northern European types, who never really tan, but burn easily. I lived in zinc oxide most of my summers as a child.

Seeing the sun this time of year usually means it is cold, but it can warm quickly if the wind shifts. At least we don’t have to shovel.

Competition, hmmm, I’ve heard of that. It must be limited to foreign parts or cities.

5 Badtux { 12.02.11 at 12:26 am }

From my readings of right-wing economists, it appears that competition is a magic unicorn that the Free Market Fairy magically creates via jizzing free market fairy dust out of his / her wand, which then gets spread around and molded into magic competition unicorns by invisible hands that nobody’s ever seen but everybody seems convinced exists. I’m not sure that anybody has ever actually seen this magic unicorn outside of the market for consumer trinkets and baubles, but the right wing economists insist that it exists, like Santa Claus, magically bringing gifts to all the deserving people. And if you don’t get gifts from this magic competition unicorn, why, it just means you’re a bad person and probably deserve to get coal in your Christmas stocking, ho ho ho!

Happy holidays!

– Badtux the Snarky Economics Penguin

6 Bryan { 12.02.11 at 8:14 pm }

We have ‘competition’ – The Phone Company vs. The Cable Company who both offer the same lousy serve for identical prices. Amazing how that seemed to work out, given the ‘magic’ of competition.

7 Badtux { 12.02.11 at 9:55 pm }

Clearly, Bryan, you have not wished hard enough upon a falling star while reciting the complete works of Ayn Rand, or you would indeed get the benefit of this “competition” unicorn that the Free Market Fairy creates via vigorous wand-waving and which automatically creates glops of choice and low price via some strange digestive processes. If you only believed in Ayn Rand hard enough, the competition unicorn give you its benefits. So it’s your own fault, two lumps of coal for you!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

8 Bryan { 12.03.11 at 12:27 am }

I’ve never understood the bit about coal. Coal was expensive relative to what kids normally got in their stockings for a long time, and it was useful. It must have come down from the uppercrust who didn’t have to think about the cost of heating. There was a morning or two in Germany when there weren’t enough briquets [coal dust formed into blocks for heating] inside and I had to crunch through the snow in the yard to the barn to get more when it was my turn to start the fire in the heater.