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Season Greetings

Happy NODWISH Greetings

As a service to my readers I have compiled a list of useful terms for our modern global village.

It is time to wish family and friends: [select one]

Happy NODWISH
Merry Solstice
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa
С Рождеством Христовым
Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Vrolijk Kerstfeest
Nadolig Llawen
Fröhliche Weihnachten
Joyeux Noël
Buon Natale
Feliz Navidad
God Jul
Happy Hogwatch
Happy Christmas

and hope they are visited by: [select one]

Дед Мороз
Saint Nicholas
Santa Claus
Kris Kringle
Pere Noël
Babbo Natale
Los Reyes Magos
Tomte
Joulupukki
Hogfather
Father Christmas

who leaves good things in their: [select one]

Stockings
Boots
Shoes
Clogs
Box
Pillow Case
[some people are greedy]

rather than the: [select one]

Lump of Coal
Raw Liver
Bloody Bones
Birch Switch
Sticks

some of them may deserve.

Don’t forget to leave out the: [select one]

Oats
Hay
Grass
Scraps
Turnips

For the: [select one]

Horses
Reindeer
Donkey
Camel
Goat
Boars

And: [select one]

Vodka & perozhki
Milk & Cookies
Wine & bread
Sherry & pork pie

For the driver.

Please remember: if you encounter O’Reilly or DonoWho this festive season the proper way of greeting them is “Happy Holidays”. If you say “Merry Christmas”, it would be like urinating on their yule log, putting out their fire.

9 comments

1 hipparchia { 12.04.08 at 9:34 pm }

raw liver? bloody bones? these are bad things?

2 Kryten42 { 12.04.08 at 9:47 pm }

Happy Hogwatch all! 😀

And hey… lumps of coal are not a bad gift in the midst of a freezing winter! 😉 😀

PS: If I met O’Really, DonoWho or one of several others, I’d greet them with a stiff 4 finger salute to the solar plexus (it is Christmas after all, any other time it’d be the spleen or kidneys). 🙂

And I’ll take the Sherry & pork pie! Yumm! LOL
We have a local British & Irish butchery! And they do the REAL pork pies!! (and other treats)! If I’d known they were here, I’d have moved here years ago! LOL

ROB’s British and Irish Butchery

(and we have an English pub too!) 😀

Cheers!

3 Bryan { 12.04.08 at 10:37 pm }

My great grandmother [paternal side from Berlin] was always threatening with liver in December. Charming woman, I’m sure Bismarck felt relieved when she emigrated.

If you have some place to build a fire and matches to start it, coal can be quite useful, but oranges, walnuts, and peppermint candy were definitely a better deal.

The only thing I’ve ever used sherry for is cooking. I’ve always preferred the German whites, although most of what is exported to the US isn’t worth the work of uncorking.

British food is a good solid meal. They could use some more spices, but I never went hungry when I was there.

4 Steve Bates { 12.04.08 at 10:55 pm }

While you celebrate, be sure to sing appropriate music. I’m fond of PDQ Bach; here’s one of his seasonal efforts…

Throw the Yule log on, Uncle John,
Throw the Yule log on, Uncle John,
Throw the Yule log on,
Throw the Yule log on,
Throw the Yule log…
On Uncle John!

Other verses are even more fanciful. One verse is based on the line,

Put the pickle down, Uncle John.

But one year, the carolers at UST, on stage in concert, began it

Put the pickle up, Uncle John,

… giving the conductor four whole lines to contemplate her fate in a public concert. 🙂

5 Bryan { 12.05.08 at 12:07 am }

Ah, yes, the joy of dealing with college students – the minds of toddlers in adult bodies.

6 Kryten42 { 12.05.08 at 12:59 am }

LOL Very true! 😀

British food is a good solid meal. They could use some more spices, but I never went hungry when I was there.

Ahhh… That’s what HP sauce was invented for! 😀
Wikipedia: HP Sauce

Now it’s owned by Heinz, and it is unmitigated CRAP!!! 🙁 🙁 Heinz is #3 on my hate list after M$ & Adobe… possibly #4 after Symantec, but it’s neck and neck!

*sigh* Corporations destroy everything good.
Bah… humbug!

7 Bryan { 12.05.08 at 12:05 pm }

When you start adding things, you are not eating what the cook prepared. I only do it as a pointed insult when I am paying for something that was badly made. That tactic has made for some interesting evenings in restaurants.

I may not like the food, and it may not be the way I would do it, but I prefer to dislike what was intended, not what I made it.

8 Kryten42 { 12.06.08 at 10:12 am }

Ummm… Bryan… you must have some very weird eateries then. Almost every place I’ve been to, from ‘Greasy Joe’s’ to 5 star, have ALL had various condiments available and some even give you them without request. 🙂 Most decent restaurants realise that everyone has a different pallet and likes different tastes, some bland, some super spicy etc. 🙂 I wouldn’t be seen dead in a place that didn’t. LOL And, I was engaged to a Cordon Bleu (officially) Chef and I helped her open her own Restaurant. Until she sent herself insane popping uppers and downers. Common amongst high-end Chef’s I’m told. *sigh*

9 Bryan { 12.06.08 at 4:05 pm }

You go into these places in Europe that got a line is a paperback book from a tire company and they get upset if you don’t apologize for getting food poisoning at their establishment. I try to be nice when I’m out and see if the food is anything I might enjoy. If I start modifying it, I don’t learn anything new. Most of it is garbage that would probably by improved by catchsup and a couple of hushpuppies, but I make the attempt.

If I have to modify it to enjoy it, I don’t eat there again. I been very happy in very expensive restaurants and with a number of street vendors in Asia. The world’s best mustard was once available in the train station at Koln, but the wurst were better at the Frankfurt station.

You need to try it before you modify it.