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The Gatorade/iPod Conspiracy — Why Now?
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The Gatorade/iPod Conspiracy

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! according to the Shrubbery…

While the nation remains at the

lemon

alert level, flights to the United Kingdom are raised to the

orange

alert level, and flights from the United Kingdom ARE RAISED TO

cherries

LEVEL.

We are being beseiged by “Islamic fascists” according to the Shrubbery.

Okay. So how do we identify “Islamic fascists”?

Based on past threats and actual attacks they are people with ties to Islamic nations that are allies of the United States, like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Egypt. For some reason, they don’t seem to come from Iran, Iraq, or Lebanon – go figure.

Why do we need people with automatic weapons in the airport?

They are aren’t allowing people to carry liquids or gels onto airplanes and not everyone is happy about losing their maple syrup or wine.

Apparently the plan was to smuggle liquid explosives on board the aircraft and detonate them with electronic devices. They said it was going to be the “Gatorade/iPod” technique.

Is it real? Who the hell knows? Given the track record of our security officials I would go on along with their efforts and wait for more information.  They are putting guys with automatic weapons into the airports and that makes me very nervous.  I really doubt that Tony Blair would make it up to punish Democratic voters for rejecting Joe, but he has some local issues of his own that could use a success on the security front.

4 comments

1 andante { 08.10.06 at 8:54 pm }

At least, Praise the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, we were saved from the dreaded Paintballs of Terror.

This latest bunch sounds, at the moment, like the real deal. But they were apprehended not by blasting their cities to smithereens or lobbing ‘smart’ bombs through their windows; rather by police work and intelligent use of intelligence.

2 Steve Bates { 08.10.06 at 8:57 pm }

I’m still smarting over the incident this morning with Stella’s prescription meds… pills, not liquids. I think the screeners are a bit on the touchy side and maybe haven’t quite absorbed all the new rules accurately yet.

3 Steve Bates { 08.10.06 at 8:58 pm }

Great pics, by the way. If it’s going to be a gamble to get on an airplane, it may as well look like a slot machine. 🙂

4 Bryan { 08.10.06 at 9:23 pm }

Andante, you, me and most of the left keep pointing this out, but the clowns in charge aren’t listening. You work the crime, walk the streets, knock on doors, and talk to a lot of people. It’s a slog tracking down all of the leads, but it works. You can’t talk to neighbors in a tank turret or a cockpit.

Steve, that is just the standard over reaction of people who weren’t throughly briefed. They are being put under pressure without the information to understand what they are looking for. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to get on the radio and explain to an officer on the scene that it might help if there was a little more information than “be on the lookout for a robber.”

It would also help if they put out an information sheet as to what was allowed in carry-on at the ticket counter before you got to security screening with no access to your checked baggage.

The pictures are all “borrowed” from Wikipedia fruit listings.