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All The World’s A Stage…

But the US keeps putting on farces.

From the St. Petersburg Times: Suspect in downtown St. Petersburg evacuation is light, flaky and buttery

Dozens of people were evacuated. A street corner was shut down. The bomb squad was called.

More than two hours later, police discovered what the bag contained: a croissant.

The comments were interesting though:

- Dick and Liz Cheney held a new conference to credit the Bush administration policies for keeping us safe from terrorist baked goods. They allege that if we keep following the current administration, we’ll be a nation continually on the defense from attacking bagels and pastries.

- Somewhere Osama Bin Laden is laughing at us all. This dude has us all so scared that we see an abandoned croissant and call the bomb squad. If that doesn’t say the terrorists have won, I don’t know what does.

- Police suspect the French resistance group… Pièce de résistance is responsible.

So far no one has attempted “Hey, it was crescent-shaped, so it was a Muslim plot to test our security.”

8 comments

1 Anya { 03.03.10 at 4:22 am }

I’m doing my part to protect the nation from insidious pastry plots: I’m eating those bagels as fast as I can.

2 Kryten42 { 03.03.10 at 7:33 am }

That’s the way to go Anya!! :D That’ll teach them to try to terrorize people by forcing them to consume extra calories! Next thing you know… citizens that can’t take any more might be forced to rebel with extreme prejudice and blow up bakeries! Then maybe they’ll move on to McD’s, Pizza Hut & Burger King! Hmmm… Ya know… That’s not a bad idea! :lol: Might stop them from killing Doctors and blowing up Clinics.

As Bryan said, those croissant’s are crescent shaped, and generally have a dark complexion. But I think that they are mostly harmless and safe to consume, in moderation! But whatever you do Anya… If you see one with a dark beard… RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! :twisted:

Police suspect the French resistance group… Pièce de résistance is responsible

I like that one. ;) :lol:

And, ummmmm… In response to comment two… I think it’s very safe to say that Osama and many others have been laughing since 9/11/01. And the real tragedy is that even if the USA captured Osama tomorrow (not gonna happen), he would still very much have the last laugh.

Curiously, I watched a news program we have here on ABC called ‘Lateline’, and they had a good interview with the British philosopher A.C Grayling, while he visits Aus. Now there is an intelligent human! It’s worth watching, there is a vid of it on the ABC site, and a transcript:

Religion in its ‘death throes’

Don’t let the title put you off or throw you. ;) They only discuss the subject of Religion in the first part (and that was quite interesting, especially his view on the whole ‘Intelligent Design’ red herring, and I found myself in agreement with him on the whole subject, including why so many US Politicians have to pretend to be devout God fearing people, when they are clearly not – for the most part). They also discuss Global Warming, and other topics. :)

It so nice to hear someone sane and rational discuss these things for a change. :)

3 cookie jill { 03.03.10 at 8:54 am }

Well…you know those “terrorist” loving French. The next plan is to kill us by raising our blood pressure and weight.

Makes me think I should stop by my favorite patisserie (http://www.renaudsbakery.com) and be “doubly” terroristic and get ALMOND croissants.
.-= last blog ..liz cheney mccarthy =-.

4 jams O'Donnell { 03.03.10 at 2:13 pm }

We patisserie jihadists will rise agin when we heare the clarion call of the cream horn!
.-= last blog ..I often Dream of Trains =-.

5 Bryan { 03.03.10 at 3:26 pm }

We should all pause in this season of hot cross buns to reflect in the real meaning of baked goods, which is best accomplished with good cup of coffee, butter at room temperature, and assorted toppings to aid in the contemplative process.

I think we can all agree that there is nothing inherently evil about brown paper bags, and if some people occasionally used their nose instead of a metal detector, such episodes would be unnecessary.

I think people would like to believe that this is a rare occurrence, but, alas, the US spends a hell of a lot of money every year blowing up people’s lunches. Not that long ago cops could be depended on to eat found lunches, not detonate a blob of C4 near them. [There are rumors that the Ait Force EOD guys do eat the lunches, but blow up the bag because they like excuses to blow things up.]

Instead of “Be Afraid” we should be thinking “bon appétit”. I believe we were advised that” a Child would lead them”, or something similar.

6 ellroon { 03.03.10 at 3:36 pm }

You guys don’t see it, do you? It was a FOREIGN bread!!! A croissant! This was a well-heeled latte-loving crusty loafer who hung out with Arabic sounding coffees!! Obviously a French Islamocommie friendly!

I’m on to them though! Next time I see anyone put their hand into a bag, I’m gonna yell “TERRORIST!” in a loud voice.

And because Starbucks is letting people come in packing heat… it’s gonna get real interesting!
.-= last blog ..Truer words were never bespoke…. =-.

7 Badtux { 03.03.10 at 4:22 pm }

Bryan, I know a former Air Force demo guy, and yeah, he’d eat the croissant *then* blow up the bag, just because he liked blowing shit up ;) .

More great comments:

Good thing it wasn’t a powdered donut! They would have been closed for business for two days while they had the powder examined.

Further proof that the French are nothing but trouble.

The croissant ws just to lull us into a false sense of security. We all know how high St. Pete is on the terrorists list of strategic locales to invade in America… Be vigilant, you never know, next time it may be a baguette!!! Now there is the REAL danger, folks!

If anyone sends a croissant in a bag to my house, I’ll make it sorry it was ever baked.

A snarky penguin hangs his head in shame over not being able to outsnark the snarkers who have come before him.

- Badtux the WTF Penguin

8 Bryan { 03.03.10 at 8:07 pm }

Before I forget – yeah, Kryten, I saw the video at PZ Myers’s place. Unfortunately rational thought only convinces rational people.

Ellroon, in Florida the workers could pull their guns and kill the customers who were packing by simply saying they were a perceived threat. Actually, if you walk into a convenience store down here with a gun and no badge, you have the survival potential of s fresh beignet on Sunday morning.

You’re right, Badtux, everyone seems to have been storing up pastry snark for use in just such a situation.

Well, enough of this crepe, back to kinder… the Florida legislature.