Awards

by Bryan

So much has gone on recently, that I thought I would highlight a few of the performances by the governing class:

	The ‘Joliet’ Jake Blues Award for Insincere Apologies goes to the disHonorable Mark Foley who just doesn’t want to admit he is a sick puppy who needs to be isolated from anyone who can’t legally drink.
	The Saddam Hussein Award for Using Children as Shields goes to Congresscreep Thomas M. Reynolds who surrounded himself with small children to avoid answering question from the press about enabling Mark Foley.
	The Captain Louis Renault Award for Manufactured Outrage [First Class – note dress uniform] goes to the Shrubbery, not only for manufacturing outrage but for actually using the word “shocked” in regards to the disHonorable Mark Foley.
	Vizzini Award for Language Abuse [Second Class] to Condoleezza Rice for her use of “incomprehensible”, attempting to divert attention from her failure to take any actions after being informed of a likely terrorist threat by the CIA.  She was a contender earlier for the statement: “no one could have imagined hijacked planes being used as weapons,” but it was felt that the award had to be limited to single words. The First Class requires the direct abuse of “inconceivable”.
	The Hippo of Hypocrisy is awarded to Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich, who between them have more divorces that some nations and yet feel qualified to have meaningful opinions about morality in sexual relations.
	The Stalin Prize for Government Control is awarded to the Republican leaders in Congress whose Military Commissions Act embodies all of the worst elements of the Soviet government under Josef Stalin.

Let’s have a hand, or other appropriate digital display, for the winners.

9 comments

1 John B. { 10.05.06 at 9:05 am }

Clap-clap. Hope you make this a regular feature!

2 Jim { 10.05.06 at 9:21 am }

Bravo! (I particularly like the distinction between 1st and 2nd class for the Vizzini Award.)

3 Jack K. { 10.05.06 at 10:13 am }

…we should now also include an enshrinement along with these awards. I nominate Dennis Hastert for induction into the Blame Someone Else Day Hall of Fame. On the First Friday the 13th of every year, we can prominently display his official House Speaker Photo and honor him with remembrance for his insistence to the Chicago Tribune that Democratic operatives and ABC News were the engine powering the Mark Foley scandal. That’s my kind of leader…

4 Bryan { 10.05.06 at 2:59 pm }

That depends on who gets elected, John.

Thanks, Jim.

Denny can do that< Jack, because he knows he's too big to fit under the bus.

5 Steve Bates { 10.05.06 at 8:44 pm }

Well-done, Bryan. If I’d done something similar, it would have been half-baked.

6 Bryan { 10.05.06 at 8:56 pm }

You have to use a table to get them to line up properly and WordPress fights you at every turn.

7 Steve Bates { 10.06.06 at 12:02 am }

A lot of the stylesheet pro’s these days seem to be using UL and LI tags with hardcore styles to do the most bizarre things. The top status bar on the main page of the app I’m working on has a horizontal layout… yes, horizontal… done with UL and LI. I’ve no idea how it works; only the design guy knows. I’ve made a few minor tweaks to that stylesheet, but I’m afraid to tamper very much; I feel as if I’m tinkering with a powerful weapon whose operation I ill understand.

I found WordPress frustrating for poetry as well. They changed the rich-text editor one day while I was working on my nonpolitical poetry blog; it became such a PITA to line things up the way I wanted that I’ve scarcely been back since then. WordPress is wonderful for many things. Fixed alignments of any sort are not among those things.

8 Bryan { 10.06.06 at 9:59 am }

One of the beauties of CSS is redefining how tags work, but it’s a pain if you want to mix the standard use with a custom use. On that one the design guy redefined LI, but I would want to see the code to see how he suppressed the line feed/carriage return.

The WordPress pre-sets for

and
aren’t bad for most things, but they can be really annoying if you want a specific layout. They don’t allow multiple blank lines, which is the quick and dirty way of getting the pictures and captions to display properly, so it was back to a table which has to be put in through the HTML editor.

9 Why Now? » Blog Archive » Running Scared { 10.11.06 at 5:22 pm }

[…] According to Robert at Interstate 4 Jamming, recent Saddam Hussein Award winner, the disHonorable Thomas M. Reynolds (R-Cowardice Clarence), didn’t show up for a scheduled talk show appearance. He sent Howdy Doody in his place. […]